IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT! by Eric Wang

 

Are you unhappy with your life right now? Are you upset with the way things are or have been for the last couple years, maybe even decades? Well, it’s YOUR fault. Yeah, that’s right. It’s your fault! Don’t blame anyone else. You caused it!

I think George Washington Carver said it best: “Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.”  If you are not successful, chances are you’re making excuses. You’re rationalizing your lack of success: “Oh well, I have the genes for fatness…it’s not MY fault. My life sucks because my parents were never there for me…I can’t be successful in life because I look ugly and I can’t afford facial reconstruction surgery…I can’t be happy because blahsey-blahsey-blah”

As Tony Robbins says, “the only thing keeping you from getting what you want is the STORY you keep telling yourself about why you can’t have it.”

If you don’t like your outcomes, change your responses. You can’t control what happens to you, but you can choose the way you respond to what has happened. In fact, you have the “response-ibility” to choose your response.

If you’re following my blog and you don’t want to take 100% responsibility for your success or lack thereof, unfollow me right now. I’m serious. Unfollow.

If you’re following my Tumblr, Facebook page, or Youtube channel, I expect you not only to read or watch what I post. I expect you to apply it. Live it. Every single day of your life, ask yourself how you can improve your life and the lives of those around you. I want you to succeed. And, I know you can succeed. I’m holding you to a higher standard now.

Maybe you didn’t realize that the moment you subscribed to my YouTube channel, the moment you “liked” my facebook page, the moment you clicked “follow,” you’ve unofficially enrolled in my exclusive coaching sessions. I’m your coach now.  And, as long as you are under my coaching, there will be no settling for less than you deserve. There will be no blaming or pointing fingers at anyone except yourself.  If you’re not ready to make that commitment, it’s ok. Come back when you’re ready.

If you are still with me, I want to share this tip with you that I got from reading Jack Canfield’s book “The Success Principles” last night. I highly recommend this book. Please do yourself a favor and buy it and apply it!

Here’s the tip: if something doesn’t turn out as planned, ask yourself the following questions:

How did I create that?

What was I thinking?

What were my beliefs?

What did I say or not say?

What did I do or not do to create that result?

How did I get the other person to act that way?

What do I need to do differently next time to get the result I want?

Genuinely answer those questions every time you get a sub-optimal or just unsatisfying result, and before long, you’ll find yourself on the fast-track to doubling your health, your fitness, and your income in half the time. Guaranteed.

-Eric

Eric Wang, Pharm.D. Candidate

 

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Pebbles

Small gray pebbles covering the ground.

Small gray pebbles covering the ground. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“A small trouble is like a pebble. Hold it close to your eye and it fills the whole world and puts everything out of focus.

Hold it at a proper distance and it can be examined and properly classified.

Throw it at your feet and it can be seen in its natural setting; just one more tiny bump on the pathway to life.” ~Cecilia Luce

Optimism Matters

“Whatever happens, whether you succeed or you fail, people with high expectations always feel better, because how we feel — when we get dumped or we win employee of the month — depends on how we interpret that event.” ~Tali Sharot

Listen to this video of Tali Sharot as she talks about the common positive trait of optimism. Tali Sharot studies why our brains are biased toward optimism.

Excellent video, makes you think and feel good about who you are. Be well.

tali_sharot_the_optimism_bias.html

Getting to NO

NO.

One word, two letters often stop the faint minded right where they are and they give up often never to try again. What makes this scenario so damaging is that those around them hear the story over and over again as they repetitively re-play their NO and what happened and how unfair it was like a iPod stuck on repeat.  That one red letter word, no, becomes the rationalized excuse over a lifetime for not getting to yes.  Enough already-move on.

“You’ll never see the great things ahead of you if you keep looking at the bad things behind you.” ~Alvin

The achiever takes a completely different approach, they move.  Achievers get busy creating new pathways or finding other solutions.  The accomplishment-minded accept the NO as information to learn what else is possible. Achievers don’t give up after the first n0, after the second no nor after the fifth no. Real firm minded achievers work hard to get a yes and they often don’t stop until they get it.

Einstein heard no. Edison heard no over and over again. John Barry and Norm Larsen heard no thirty nine (39) times before they perfected WD40 (thus the name). Janet Harmon Bragg heard no nearly everyday but became the first African-American female pilot anyway. It takes stubborn tenacity, firm conviction, and oftentimes creative maneuvering to reach a goal.

It is likely that you will hear the word “no” more than the word “yes” in your lifetime. Researchers cite  studies validating that no is usually the first word a baby learns and speaks. What’s up with that?

No is a word, so what; celebrate getting to no. Instead of lingering in doubt or accepting no as a defeat – take getting a no and begin fresh with powered energy to a yes.  Build your determination to turn an obstacle into an opportunity. “Obstacles are only opportunities to succeed or fail; how we handle them determines what will happen.” ~ James Caan

Opportunities require work, but they are omnipresent. You can tap an opportunity anytime and almost anywhere it just depends on how deep is your thirst for success.  Each day opens with opportunity, never forget that. What the majority of people do is settle in and take their mind and eyes off focus, so opportunities pass right by. Others are not determined enough, not hungry enough to find a different solution. The noise of “no” is so programmed in the social conversation that you may just accept no as par for the course, don’t!

What if Jessica Jackley and Matt Flannery (the founders of Kiva) had given up when naysayers told them their idea was unreasonable and spoke the dreaded word NO? What if Aung San Suu Kyi had succumbed after one day of house arrest in Burma? What if Jay-Z and Russell Simmons or Josh Stone or Adele stopped recording or never made it to a recording studio because someone told them “NO?

What if you are told “no” today or tomorrow? Will you stop, will you give up your dream, will you throw away your goal? You had better not! Ask yourself, what would the world miss if I failed to get to yes?

“You need to overcome the tug of people against you as you reach for high goals.” ~ George Patton

Expect getting to no. Plan for getting a no and immediately go into Kennedy Space Center rocket launch motion and begin your blast off into the vista of “yes.”

No means yes to the achiever-get to yes!

3 Happiness Helpers

Joy is what happens when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are. ~ Marianne Williamson

Happiness is synonymous with joy.  Having an inner exuberance is a definite happiness helper.  Life happens, so sometimes there may be moments that it is more difficult to recognize “good” in your life. That’s okay, there is still a reservoir of internal happiness for you to dip into that will quickly restore your joy. Then there may be times it takes more effort and longer lapses before you can return to your inner pool of happiness, this is okay too. But, if you find that you are feeling that your happiness is waning to a distant point and you are staying away from feeling the “good” for more and more days, it is time for intervention. Your intervention may mean that you talk with your doctor about the longer days of feeling blue or it may mean getting help in other forms.

Get over the what if happiness destroyers: what if I had done X, what if I had said Y, what if I had gone Z—what if you are happy and at rest with joy for being who you are? What if that!

You can be happy. You should be happy.  Be happy. Use these 3 happiness helps to fill up your joy pool and dip in it often:

  1. Know truth, rather than worry about vain imaginings.  I agree with Epictetus.  He said,”Men are disturbed not by the things that happen, but by their opinion of the things that happen.” Your opinion can instantly shift from worry to happiness when you acknowledge the truth. Rather than speculate or ruminate over distresses, work on validating the truth that measures your joy.  It is not the event that is causing your pain, it is your projected, often wrong, opinion that creates the scaring. Be truthful with yourself first and then take appropriate active steps to remedy a misstep if that moves you back to your joy reservoir.  Look for evidence of joy, it’s there. Joy surrounds you.
  2. Restore positive beliefs. Many times our beliefs get distorted by adopting the perspectives of other people. But, the pivotal question for inner joy is to ask: What do I believe? This happiness helper requires you to state what you know to be true.  When you find yourself doubting or pooling in negativity, pause right then and examine what you are thinking.  Challenge the accuracy of your less than positive mental conversation and restructure those mental moments with honest positive belief.  This world is not crumbling, you are a part of the axis of its positive spin.
  3. Float, let  negativity pass you by.  Wave off scorn, snub gossip, draw away from criticism, move beyond damaging thoughts.  You have too much joy to allow negativity to attach to your mind and heart.  This happiness helper gives you the social and mental spirit of discernment; you know with an inner instinct that this does not agree with who you are and the happiness you feel and spread to others.  Shun negativity, keep your happiness glasses on. Be happy.

You control your happiness. Bathe in the secret of inner happiness that covers all things. Be mindful of your birthright, you were born to live as a joyful and happy being.

 

The Depression Cure: The Six Step Program to Beat Depression Without Drugs, Stephen S. Ilardi

Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits!, Anita Jefferson

Be Happy! – How to Stop Negative Thinking, Start Focusing on the Positive, and Create Your Happiness Mindset, Nichole  Fisher