75 Questions: Day 57

At the onset of this series of questions, there were 75  days before the pivotal start of a new Gregorian calendar year – 2017. Thus, each day and for  the next 18 days (Monday – Sunday) the blog postings will ask you just one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, it may be the catalyst for indelible change, or it may even tickle you.

The intent of the 75 questions is to probe, to prompt a reaction, to get you to stretch, to press beyond tradition or boundaries, to think broader, to break free, to face the fear, or liberate you by confirming what you already know for sure. You are only asked to respond with a thoughtful answer to the question.

“Our task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi

Each question, ultimately gives you to space to discover how to love yourself. You may even find that Terry Cole Whitaker is right-what you think of me is none of my business. Make it your business to let love emanate from within, to accept ypurself.

These 75 question can precipitate change. The question is to be a inquiry into pathways of inner change that leaves you feeling more safe, in control, powerful, intrigued, and authentic.

When these amazing emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

Question 57: What do you accept about yourself?

Monday Miracle: Lauren Hill

Miracles in life often mean that you learn how to “hoop it up.”  When you live life as a normal, routine existence it delivers safety since your habits are rarely disturbed.  But, what happens when that “safety” that is grooved into your being is shaken, when NORMALCY is disrupted?Lauren Hill                                     (photo found at http://www.thecurestartsnow.org)

That question was answered by Lauren Hill on CBS Sunday Morning.  This nineteen year old is chasing her dream, living her life in spite of the terminal brain tumor.  She wants to live long enough to play her first game next Sunday at Mt. St. Joseph College where she is a freshman.  This game is sold out, 10,000 tickets were sold in one hour to support #22. “She feels like she would be a quitter” if she stops playing the basketball game that she loves.

Lauren Hill disrupts safety, she is committed to hoop it up in spite of cancer.  Her favorite charity is http://www.thecurestartsnow.org (a foundation to cure pediatric brain cancer) and she stills gets up at 5:00 in the morning to practice drills with her team.  She defies normalcy.

Lauren Hill as she takes to the court on November 2 at 2:00pm in the NCAA season opener as Mount St. Joseph University takes on Hiram College at the Xavier University Cintas Center. Let us all cheer for Lauren by living beyond your usual normalcy scope; instead “hoop it up.”

How do you “hoop it up”?  Please post your comments below, we want to know you you live your dreams–thank you.

Tuesday Thought: Security

How secure are you?

This question may prompt you to think about what goes on in your mind. You may think “I am an idiot” after you make a mistake or you may hold grudges that indulge self-pity. Conversely, you may find it easy to celebrate success, yours or someone else’s. You may also readily accept responsibility for a mistake and use it to deepen your learning. The differences between the two sets of thought actions indicate your level of inner security.

“Mind is the master power that molds and makes and man is mind, and evermore he takes the tool of thought, and, shaping what he wills brings forth a thousand joys, a thousand ills. He thinks in secret, and it comes to pass. Environment is but his looking glass.”  ~James Allen

Who do you think you are?

Take a few minutes to reflect on this life pivot question. The value and esteem with which you honestly answer the question can track you to some hidden issues of debasement. Try this exercise:

I am _____________, _____________. __________ and I ____________. My life environment is _______________ and I enjoy _____________ of things about the manner that I live. My motto is _______________________________________________________________ and I take time to _________________ ___________, ______________, _________________ everyday.

Be Secure

Be Secure

NEXT: Write an affirmation for yourself (repeat this throughout the day)

LAST: How do you feel now that you have completed the three parts of this exercise?

Are you feeling more secure? Let us know what transformations occurred. Unlock your security, tell your story.

Monday Miracle: Hate Well

“Do not tolerate the thing that you have a no-tolerance rule against.” ~Henry Cloud

There is such a thing as justifiable hatred.  Successful people know this and practice it judiciously.  To hate well means that there are some hard-fast character, social, and mental rules that you mark as inviolable.  You stand against racism or oppression no matter what.  You stand again lying or manipulation no matter what.  You stand against the act, not the person.

Dr. Henry Cloud, in his book 9 Things You Simply Must Do, writes that hating well always means that you have a loving or kind response to the person but evince a very strong stance on the issue.  Strong well placed hatred means unmovable, non-equivocal standards without meanness or malice toward the person.  In this way, strong non-judgmental values allow you to operate around the things that you hate without being infected by them while you work to remedy the situation or help someone.

Become a person who objectively chooses to hate well.  This allows you to discard the charged emotions that often damage or destroy the valued good you intend.  Then, you will preserve your integrity, shorten any stress, and contribute to well-being in your relationships.

Subjective hatred destroys.  When you choose to hate a person or an act and then react venomously, you are not separating what you value from either the person or situation.  Dr. Cloud says this is global hatred. In essence because you have been offended by a person, all people who look like that person or even more broadly is the same gender as the offender is treated malevolently.  Wrong!

Hate well instead.  Separate the charged emotions and previous pain you have internalized from the current person or situation that reminds you of a former space of injustice.  Subjective hatred often projects onto others angry, unjustified disdain and harsh judgment whereas objective hatred is precise in its assessment and addresses the infraction in ways that preserve the dignity of the person.

Hatred, as a healing and appropriate response to anything which infringes on your values, is good.  Either you stand for something or you perish for the lack of standing.  Those who hate poverty but not the impoverished hate well.  Those who hate hunger but not those who hunger hate well.  Those who hate profanity but do not curse the curser too hate well. 

Distinguish what you hate. Stand firm on the issue, and graciously on the person.

Tell us what you hate and how you make the choice to objectively hate well.  Send me your comments.

12 Gifts for You

As you absorb the active spirit of giving, don’t forget to give to your inner self. It is important to pause and add your name to the gift list. Gifts oftentimes bestow happiness, especially when genuine thoughtfulness is attached to it. Then, it is not the gift or the cost of the item but the care and kindness that is associated with it.

Make it a practice and often used priority in your life to give a gift to yourself.

“Each day provides its own gifts.” ~Marcus Aurelius

12 Gifts for You:

1. Joy – greet every experience with joy. The feelings of appreciation, gratitude and acquiesce, regardless of the circumstance, are invigorating life learning moments. Joy gives you wings.

2. Affirmation – say “yes” to life. Affirm your ability to direct your life. You are the captain of your life ship; guide yourself to whatever you desire. Claim your gifts; the universe is saturated with gems of inestimable value that are just for you.

3. Confirmation – verifications are right in front of your face when you are thinking about and doing the right thing. The available gift is for you to recognize the confirmations that automatically follow right action.

4. Understanding – in all of your giving, get the gift of understanding. Kindness is the bedrock of understanding. Stand on the principled rock of kind understanding, people will listen.

5. Excellence – doing your best, making excellence your signature, is a legacy gift. The imprint mark of excellence that is associated with your life is an eternal evidence of your life.

6. Confidence – go boldly in the direction you have chosen. Respect your choice(s) to the fullest. Find your way by this spotlight and “see the dawn before the rest of the world,” says Oscar Wilde.

7. Exploration – the world awaits your discovery. The excitement and enlightenment that accompanies exploration are priceless gifts.

8. Silence – quiet introspection causes the world to listen. Allow the gift of silence to guide your ultimate happiness and success. Calm mindfulness is a balm.

9. Openness – there are lessons to learn every day. Be open to teachable moments, these innocent gifts guide you closer to source.

10. Compassion – first never do harm. Gentle compassion to you is a gift that gives premium, perpetual joy. Give yourself the gift of compassion and then continuously give it away to others.

11. Peace – let the soft flowing water of peace buoy your life. Regardless of what happens, and many things will intrude upon your peace, quickly restore your calm with the gift of peace.

12. Love – love you! Love every piece of you; love your mind, heart, body, soul. Love you and all of the essence that composes this priceless pearl that you are. Love you in all of your uniqueness, there is nothing better than love.

  • Gifts (valleyroadrambler.wordpress.com)

Happiness: A-Z

Acceptance

Balance

Compassion

Direction

Exploration

Forgiveness

Generosity

Harmony

Imagination

Justice

Kindness

Laughter

Mastery

Nurturence

Openness

Praise

Quest

Respect

Serenity

Thanks

Understanding

Vision

Wisdom

Xpungence

Yen

Zeal

Acceptance

There are times when you must say I accept – as it is.  It does not matter what you nod your agreement of acceptance to, the pivot is that you simply accept.  No valuation.  No evaluation. No nothing, only acceptance.

Acceptance, really of ALL things, is the staff of a happy, serene life. Grant yourself permission to accept the things you can or cannot change.  The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr asks us to live one day at a time, to enjoy one moment at a time and to accept hardships as the pathway to peace.

Take a moment to reflect on all of the words in The Serenity Prayer as part of your active acceptance today and you will find that your perception of the world around you will likely be more peaceful and serene today, and you will find too that you cannot help but view your own circumstances from a calm, rational perspective.

Serene acceptance will serve you well anytime that emotionally charged aspects of your survival, such as health struggles, finances and family or employment or any other obstacle comes into your space of mind.  Acceptance of all things, especially when tested by difficult situations and circumstance, will powerfully influence or direct your choice to live assured of inner happiness.

With inviolable acceptance your response to frenetic discord or confusion will  mean that you will likely stay in a peaceful, rational zone.  Your down to earth acceptance will provide you with the peace of mind you need to think carefully about the many real truths that are available to support you.

If you stay peaceful and serene as you climb every obstacle, when your heightened emotions debase your true presence of calmness today, you will easily find that you can chart a practical response and course of action that best suits the outcome you need more directly.

Adopting acceptance ensures that our ability to judge our options is not disturbed by the intensity of emotion one experiences when coping with the obstacles that come into our lives.  Obstacles are inevitable; they are part of our DNA makeup (quoted from the book Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits!).  But, exercising the control of peaceful, total acceptance allows you to respond to the natural feelings of fear, anger, disgust, with reasonable, fact-based rationality.

Consequently, because of acceptance of all things and situations you will more readily instinctively examine the best way to proceed and be at peace.  Your inner happiness will be quickly restored as you begin to relate present circumstances to your ability to control the influences of choices that will affect your future.

Today your choice is to maintain acceptance that will govern your serenity now in the present and in the future, regardless of the state of or duration of chaotic upheavals.

Choose acceptance. Live one day at a time. Enjoy one moment at a time. Accept that temporary hardship is a pathway to peace; acceptance is a blessing in disguise that teaches us to have more inner happiness, faith and confidence.