Why? The Pivot of Change

photo by Renjith Krishnan

We all know the basic five pejorative questions to ask probably from English class: who, what, when, where, and WHY. Today my emphasis is on the question WHY  because when you know WHY you want something to happen, regardless of what it is, then you can usually make it happen. It has been said that the person who knows and understand and can answer the question why can move mountains.

Your answers to the question why is pivotal to change.  It is the rotation point that allows you to shift direction or focus to a new, more aligned place that then allows you to break old patterns which then produces the symmetry and congruency for you to get exactly the breakthroughs you want.

Knowing WHY solidifies your justification for doing something different.  This way, you know what you know. Answering why, for your dream, creates a realization so strong and deep that you can’t let other people and even yourself tell you no.

When in doubt, pause and answer the question why. Do two things:

  1. Sit down and write your answers to the question why. Let this be your visceral proposal for change.  You may then discover explosive creative ways to get the support you need. You may realize that internet sources such as Kickstarter.com, IndieGoGo.com, or RocketHub.com may be interested in your project.
  2. Research like projects. Let’s say that your dream is to travel and then submit your awesome photography for sale. Learn about travel photography and pay because of your why!  Many have made resolutions to be healthier. Internet sites are prevalent that can give you the support you need: DrOz.com, WeightWatchers.com, SparkPeople.com are just a few online sources that include free personalized weight loss tools and massive support.

These two action steps sear your brain and heart and create new passion pathways that become your pivot for change. In a way, these basic actions become directional in that they often point you to a direction from which to go or not go.

Then let your intuition and fertile drive create the mechanism to make your dreams happen.

WHY is the precursor to the active steps you need to take, regardless of fear or doubt, to spark a breakthrough.

WHY, that is the question only you can truly answer.

It’s Time to Check In

The days in the 2011 calendar year are moving rapidly; it’s September already!

At the quarter year point, it is time to check in with yourself.  As you know, I have been working with Roy van der Mull,  facilitator for The Passion Test (Janet and Chris Attwood).  Roy is a natural for this process, he is an expert guide who patiently but deliberately moves you to your inner discovery of your valued passions. During our first two sessions, I discovered that my top passions were not what I expected.  Surprise, in these check in sessions with Roy I found out that I had shifted, I had changed.

My endorsement of Roy is clear. He helped crystallize in my heart, mind and soul what new direction I must now take and what decisions I can now make based on the knowledge of my new, shifted passions.  His advice from The Passion Test was “Whenever you are faced with a decision, a choice or an opportunity choose in favor of your passions.” Fuel your passions with the energy of choice, by checking in with what you want and how you feel, and confidently reach your goals.

It is time for you to check in.  ASK:

  • Have my passions shifted?
  • Have my goals changed?
  • What do I base my decisions upon?
  • Are my achievement markers relevant?

Pause for a while today and answer the above four questions. It is time to validate or remove some things in your life as I did.  Seek, do an independent investigation into what is of value to you. Pause to extract your passion(s).  Find a quiet space and set aside the time to discover and deepen your passion. Then, use the remaining quarter of this year to make conscious, practical decisions which support the practice  of your passions.  Be willing to change.

“I am willing to put myself through anything: temporary pain or discomfort means nothing to me as long as I can see that the experience will take me to a new level.” ~Diana Nyad

What pain and ecstasy are you willing to put yourself through? What will you arm yourself with? What power is yours?

Remember nothing can ever hurt you – and with passion in your heart, mind and soul – all the world’s afflictions cannot alarm or deter you.

Live your passion confidently, one decision at a time.

What Matters Most

The reason why relationships falter or depression starts or fears paralyze is the desire for normalcy.

We want to be normal and live in a normal world. Therefore, when a relationship sours and is no longer “normal” it is accepted and often internalized as someone’s fault. Depression starts oftentimes when you begin to think that something is wrong with you and your world. What is “normal” makes you think you are bad and that the world is bad. Fear paralyzes because it is a social and emotional challenge to make changes that look like they are not “normal” or probably unacceptable.

The quest to be “normal” and viewed as normal according to social standards create a distress that trouble the mind and stall an inner feeling of good. “Good” people do not dance with abandon. “Normal” people do not sing off key and smile with joy. “Sane” parents do not allow their children to speak their opinions.

Be abnormal. If you need to go beyond conditioned or social behavior to seek joy, peace, happiness…do it. If you need to suspend normalcy in your struggle to fight depression, stress, lethargy, or the seepage of unworthy feelings, begin by asking yourself what matters most?

What matters most to me? This inner, rhetorical questions can be the pivot of change that brings about a mature, authenticity. Magnify the voice that answers this question: what matters most to me.

Don’t retreat thinking it is not “normal” to talk to myself. Don’t stall or worse yet, don’t fail to ask the question because you feel that is it selfish to even engage in such a probe of your inner feelings.

Ask: what matters most to me?
Do it again. ASK: what matters most to me?

Once you get into the habit of asking and then knowing what matters most to you, you will begin to unravel and resolve most of your mental battles.

I had to get there myself. For years I did NOT know what mattered most to me? Therefore, I was battered by life-living a functional existence, but unfilled.

It did not feel “normal” to me to ask myself what was important to me. But after years of dis-ease and multiple health prompters and frantic desperation to find “me,” It is so strange to me now that I was not mentored to ask the question. My parents did not teach me, my teachers did not teach me, nor did the reverend in church teach me. During these formative years, I just did not know to ask. However, once I did learn what to ask, I asked myself that seminal question almost ten times a day for nearly a year.

I still ask myself, what matters most to me? to find my center oasis. No question that integrity, service, and love was important to me. The real structure of my unfailing happiness now is that I live that life every day at all times.

“The outer conditions of a person’s life will always
be found to be harmoniously related to
his inner state.” ~James Allen
As A Man Thinketh

If being in the company of someone who does not support what I know is “normal” and true for me, I lovingly release them right away without malice or guilt.

If I work for a client and their requests do not fit what I know what matters most for me, I immediately request modifications to our working relationship.

If I begin to feel out of sorts with any situation, I reflect upon it from the perspective of matching the situation to what matters most to me, and handle it lovingly from my inner truth.

You can do the same; ASK: WHAT MATTERS MOST TO ME? and then center all of your engagements (social, family, business) around synchronicity with your strong, authentic, loving self.

Be “normal” for yourself.
Be strong in being “normal” for yourself.

You know the truth-that’s all that matters to me.