75 Questions: Day 47

There are 75 days before the glorious start of a new Gregorian calendar year. So, for the next 28 days (Monday – Sunday) the blog postings will ask you one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, or it may even tickle you sometimes.

frogs-1274769_640

hear, see, nor speak evil

It’s about the real you. The intent of the 75 questions is to probe, to prompt a reaction, to get you to stretch, to press beyond tradition or boundaries, to think broader, to break free, and then give a thoughtful answer to the question.

The overall intent of the 75 questions is to capture change. The questions are to be a catalyst for inner change that leaves you feeling more dynamic, safe, powerful, intrigued, and authentic. You are praiseworthy.

When these amazing emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

 Question 47: How often do you praise?

75 Questions: Day 20

                                               55-speed-limit

There are 75 days before the start of a new Gregorian calendar year. So, for the next 55 days (Monday – Sunday) the blog postings will ask you one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, or it may tickle you.  It’s all about you. The whole thrust of the 75 questions is to prompt a reaction and honest answer to the probe.

The unfiltered intent of the 75 questions is to capture change. The questions are to be a catalyst for inner change that leaves you feeling more dynamic, powerful, intrigued, and authentic. When these salient emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

Post your answers, you will get a response to your replies and we will use these 75 questions to lift life as the year 2017 begins.

Question 20: At what speed are you traveling?

75 Questions: Day 17

There are 75 days before the start of a new Gregorian calendar year. So, for the next 59 days (Monday – Sunday) the blog postings will ask you one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, or it may tickle you.  The collective thrust of the 75 questions is to prompt a reaction and honest answer to the probe.

The unfiltered intent of the 75 questions is to capture change. The questions are to be a catalyst for inner change that leaves you feeling more dynamic, powerful, intrigued, and authentic. When these salient emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

Your countdown continues…

Question 17: When are you at peace?

75 Questions: Day 16

There are 75 days before the start of a new Gregorian calendar year. So, for the next 60 days (Monday – Sunday) the blog postings will ask you one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, or it may tickle you.  The collective thrust of the 75 questions is to prompt a reaction and honest answer to the probe.

The unfiltered intent of the 75 questions is to capture change. The questions are to be a catalyst for inner change that leaves you feeling more dynamic, powerful, intrigued, and authentic. When these salient emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

Question 16: What one thing you’d never change about yourself?

Post your answers, you will get a response to your replies and we will use these 75 questions to lift life as the year 2017 begins.

75 Questions: Day 5

There are 75 days before the start of a new Gregorian calendar year. So, for the next 70 days (Monday – Sunday) the blog postings will ask you one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, or it may tickle you. The whole thrust of the 75 questions is to prompt a reaction and honest answer to the probe.

The instructive intent of the 75 questions is to capture change. The questions are to be a catalyst for inner change that leaves you feeling more dynamic, powerful, intrigued, and authentic. When these salient emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

Post your answers, you will get a response to your replies and we will use these 75 questions to lift life as the year 2017 begins.

fear

What are you afraid of?

Monday Miracle: Visualization

Human Eye with different lines. The line of si...

Human Eye with different lines. The line of sight (middle) is the only one permitting a view with good acuity. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What do you see? How clear is your vision? How magnificent is your visualization?

In order  for your goals to materialize, you must have a vivid, electrifying visualization of what you want to achieve.  There are four parts of visualization – learn and assiduously practice each step every day to capture the incredible power of seeing what you want.

  1. Daily Diligence

The first step of visualization is daily practice, the frequency  that you visualize the achievement of your goal by seeing yourself in your mind’s eye accomplishing exactly what you want is the impetus you need to marshal your success. The more often you repeat a clear mental picture of your very best performance or the achievement of the goal, the more rapidly it will manifest as part of your reality.

2.  Duration

The second step of visualization is duration, how long you maintain your mental picture.  The length of  time that you can hold your visual image (it should not be a full n length movie) deepens your ability to attract what you need and see the actions required to complete your goal.  The duration depends on you, some may need more time to vividly see their achievement and others may only need seconds to inculcate their image. Take your time, do what serves your highest need.

 “Achievement, of whatever kind, is the crown of effort, the diadem of thought.” ~Elbert Hubbard

3.  Direction

The third step of visualization is direction. There is a direct, one-to-one relationship between how vividly clear you can see the direction of your goal or result in your mind and how quickly it comes into your reality. Your ability to directly cast the goal in your mind is what transmutes desire directly and determines how quickly your visual image materializes.

4.  Desire

The fourth element of visualization is intense desire, how badly do you want to achieve your goal. The intensity of your desire and the strength of the emotion that you attach to your visual image is vital to achievement. This is the most important and powerful part of the visualization process.

Visualization is a process, as is success. Work the process and it will work for you.

Vivid visualization + volition = success.

Conscious Creation Key #1: Forgiveness

I FORGIVE

 

Pumla Gobodo-Madikizelan says, “Forgiveness does not overlook the deed. It rises above it. This is what it means to be human, [because] it says I cannot and will not return to the evil you inflicted on me. And that is the victim’s triumph.”

I watched with amazed horror when I recently witnessed someone mal-treat another person for harm done nearly thirty years ago. She played the “victim” pompously by refusing to acknowledge the other person with pride. It appeared to me, a voyeur at best, who was privy to the incident three decades ago that she is destined for emotional destruction. She wanted to return the evil inflicted upon her and did it publicly and sadly she thought she was right. It did not matter what I said about giving up the past, she’d release  her supposedly righteous venom and spit it out as a viper snake whenever that person came around. It was sad to see others supporting her. Knowing the futility to trying to intervene, I made my mind up to shield myself and stay away.

Forgiveness – the elixir for happiness – means never having to say I am a perpetual victim.  It means in a healthy way that you recognize that what was done was wrong but you refuse to be manipulated or emotionally tethered to someone’s past wrongs.  It means you have a happy life to live. It means you are healed and have moved on to brighter experiences.

The vise grip of “payback” issues a scar that only love and grace can soften.  Holding malice in one’s heart hurts the holder – YOU! You suffer the consequences of un-forgiveness. Health wise, researchers have connected disease, including hypertension and cancer to a malice-minded state of mind.  Emotional “payback” can lead to depression, despair, suicide, eating disorders, diabetes or auto-immune body conditions which can indicate an inability to forgive.

Serendipity guided me to The Wisdom of No Escape: The Path of Loving Kindness by Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun.  In the first chapter (titled Loving Kindness) of the book, she introduces me to the state of maitri-loving kindnessChodron makes the point to weave loving self-care and meditation. She says,

“To lead a life that goes beyond pettiness and prejudice and always wanting to make sure that everything turns out on our own terms, to lead a more passionate, full, and delightful life that that, we must realize that we can endure a lot of pain and pleasure for the sake of finding out who we are and what this world is….The ground is ourselves; we’re here to study ourselves and to get to know ourselves now, not later.”       

How do I get there? How can I consciously create forgiveness and loving kindness? How can I forgive?

  1. Start with yourself. Seriously, start as Chodron says, within you.  Say out loud to yourself – I forgive me. Let that one statement, “I forgive me” settle into your soul and witness the inner peace and calm that comes from allowing this first step to begin within you. Then, forgive others, forgive past hurts.

Be willing to let go and be open to the inflow of peaceful happiness.  Letting go does not mean that you deny the incident. It may not mean that you forget the incident, often you cannot forget. That’s all right; but be open to not allowing yourself to be wrapped in the foil of destructive emotion.

Release pain, gain what is sane. Keep your mental self whole and happy.  This may mean that you also talk with the person and share what you are feeling about the event. You may write a letter of explanation to get the situation off your heart. Do what keeps you whole, release the pain. Consciously create your peace and happiness right now in spite of what happened.

  1. Acknowledge the anger, pain, disappointment, fear, rejection, hurt, dishonor (and anything else) you felt. It’s okay and even appropriate to feel these emotions. You are not to deny any feeling. There is no way for you to release a faceted entangled emotion unless you accept that it is there. Feel the emotion and consciously make the choice to release the stories of the past and create unlimited happiness.

Dee Wallace, actress and healer, has written Conscious Creation. In it she advocates forgiveness for unlimited happiness.  Love yourself enough to allow others to be whoever they are without judgment so that your life, founded on the energy of forgiveness, wholeness, happiness and love, will create a choice consciousness of present joy.

  1. Make the change. It may be hard at first to forgive the “offender” so practice with others. Show loving kindness to the waiter, with a complainer, when you are stuck in traffic.  Smile, whistle and go on about your happy, healthy day. Remind yourself daily that you are a joyful and happy being (Baha’i prayer).  Make a conscious change!

Start paying attention to the good you do and to the “healing” vibrations you project. We’ve all been wronged, so set up a new behavior response that disallows negative-charged emotions.  Forgive, pluck the ego of sanctimoniousness from your inner character and outer display of emotions.

  1. Forgive and move on! I don’t mean surface ok-I forgive. NO, make your forgiveness deep, eternal. Live NOW, be present now where there is no history or past.  Then you won’t be haunted by the past pain or offenders nor reminded of damaging emotions when inevitable future incidents may trigger a hurtful response.

Give unto yourself, this day, forgiveness.

Emotional Exercise 4

The happiest life is that which constantly exercises and educates what is best in us.    ~Hamerton

You have reached a pinpoint moment in your life by already completing Emotional Exercises 1, 2, and 3.  Really, I mean really, really feel good about doing the exercises.  Taking effective action and piercing your layers of socialization and emotional makeup is life altering.  But, we are not done yet, Emotional Exercise 4 is here.

But, before I begin the instructions for it, please sit in a quiet place with your feet on the floor and just smile. Smile deeply and feel the resonance of inner happiness and joy that knows you have begun to re-frame your emotions into a sacred personal picture/vision of who you are that is intimate with accurate and acute, deep feelings about what you passionately desire that is bordered with vivid coloration of WHY you deserve to have it all and more.  Smile from your eyes, smile from your heart and smile from your soul inside. Priceless

How refreshing.  Smiling releases healing endorphins which ready you for Emotional Exercise 4.  Here are your instructions:

  • Repeat Exercise 1 by refreshing your memory about the free-form word list that you wrote. You are only given three minutes for this part-look, review, and stop. Your three minutes are up.
  • Next, take five minutes and read your WHY list that you wrote in Emotional Exercise 2. Five minute review, stop!
  • Third, read your ONE value. It should be so ingrained in your being that you know, with an inner “I got this” knowing that you can recall your ONE value without paper.  If you have to look it up or find it, go back to Emotional Exercise 3 and repeat until you are clear and definite about that ONE value that surpasses all others.
  •  New instruction – have a Walmart moment; match it!  Match your one WHY with your ONE value and then write your goal using those words. 

For example: my WHY is to feel and be healthy at a weight that supports longevity and my ONE value is self-respect.  Therein, my goal statement is to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day and reach a pumping heart rate so that I will lose weight and reach a weight goal of 165 pounds which will strengthen my self-respect and heighten my peace of accomplishment.

Notice the words in my stated goal. You see action (exercise), you see a definite schedule (30 minutes a day), you see intensity (heart pumping heart rate), you see my end point (165 pounds) and you see how much I value self-respect and why (strengthen and heighten accomplishment).  This goal is clear and strong in that I acknowledge that I already have high self-respect and peace within myself around this specific goal.  Also, note that this is one goal – my value changes with each of my other goals. For instance, loving and being loved is the prime value in my relationship goal. This makes sense; each goal should carry a value specific to it.

→To complete Emotional Exercise 4 – write your value and goal statement that incorporates your WHY and ONE value that is definite, clear, meshes feelings with intent, and has an end point.  That is what a goal is – it is a written statement and mental picture that is full of emotion that states what you want to achieve that is definite and has a point of closure.   Match it! Line up these two things – what you value with your why – as a deliberate, absolute statement of intention that invests your deepest emotions and states a end point.

When all of this is synchronized and in harmony with your inner belief, you will see your choices and outlook radically change.  A study of achievers prove that this formula — a true match of WHY and VALUE with a ending time frame — is what sets them apart from those who talk and are guided by fear.

Hint, you can probably guess what Emotional Exercise 5 might be.  If not, and even if you can guess what it is, this closing exercise will seal your success, solidify your choices, and solve your recidivism.  Gaming is over, only goals are ahead.

For now, go back to your quiet place after you have finished writing your statement and SMILE! Get to your happy spot because you are designing YOUR happiest life which constantly exercises and educates what is best for you.

You are loved!

Emotional Exercise 3

Strength can only be developed by practice and effort. Emotional Exercise strengthens the mental  power vital to success.

 

By now you have completed Emotional Exercise 1 and Emotional Exercise 2. Congratulations-you have undertaken two mental power components that strengthen your purpose vitality.  It will be helpful, as we proceed to Emotional Exercise 3, to review both exercises again. Remind yourself of WHAT you want and WHY these wants are important/valuable to you.  The emotional linkage of the two is vital to conquering doubt and fear.  Reminder: re-reading or even re-doing either or both is perfectly fine. I have done this exercise three times already and tested it twice out on a diverse population sample in advance of posting it to you. Repetition is good, practice and effort strengthens.

Emotional Exercise 3: 

  • Take a look at the ten things listed in the column below:  Write ALL ten down on a separate piece of paper.
  1. Job and money
  2. religion/spirituality
  3. good health
  4. friends
  5. family
  6. independence/ability to make your own decisions
  7. self-respect
  8. being a loving person/being loved
  9. freedom
  10. good life/social parties/entertainment
  • Now, take away four of those from the list above. Just cross them out on your sheet of paper.
  • Next, take away four more. Cross out four more from the list.
  • Take away ONE more from the list.
  • STOP and look at the one thing you have left from the list. Really pause and see the word you have kept from your list.  This word is what you value and hold most precious.  This is your ONE THING that is sacred, soul-touching, most valuable to you in the present.

Write the ONE THING you have left on a separate piece of paper or page in your journal.  This is important because that ONE THING is your mental governor, the thing that you will do anything to protect and hold secure in your life.

  • Ask yourself – write down the answer here – am I making decisions and living the life that proves that this ONE THING is my lifeline, my purpose? Am I living on purpose – protecting what I MOST value right now?

I know this part of Emotional Exercise 3  is difficult, hard to use an inner scope of thought to see and feel the ONE thing that you value and then probe into how you are living to protect that ONE thing.  But, strength only comes with practice and effort.  Take the effort of clearly comprehend this ONE point of your POWER and TRIUMPH.  Once you inculcate this, you become a strong fortress.  Don’t hold back-make the effort. Identify what you are doing, or not doing, to strengthen your ONE THING. Write it all down, study this question over and over again. Over and over again, probe and study this question until it becomes a legitimate, honest true concentration of who you are; until it becomes an unarguable purpose that is only for you and only made for you and can only be done by you.  

This is heavy stuff, but your mental freedom depends on the effort and practice of cleaning up the dross and defining in clear detail the ONE THING for you.

  • Write your ONE THING on multiple pieces of paper – post it notes, stickys, index cards,  poster stock, color paper.
  • Place your ONE THING everywhere. In the bath mirror, on exit doors, in your wallet, on the desk, in a photo frame, as wallpaper on your computer, in OneNote; see it often.

We will continue with Emotional Exercise 4 later in the week. For now, do Exercise 3 with fortitude and grace; see and concentrate on your purposed ONE THING.

Thank you for the trust and work you have done in Emotional Exercise 3 and for the tolerance you have exhibited to get you here. Know your ONE THING or work harder and with purposeful effort to get to know your one thing. Once this is crystallized and deeply ingested, you are on the precipice of lasting change.

I purpose you goodness, be well.

Emotional Exercise 2

How do you feel now that you have completed Emotional Exercise 1?

When I finished my exercise yesterday, as we journey through behavioral change together, and the past two times I have completed Emotional Exercise 1, I felt so connected to my pure truth of self. It felt like a gentle cleansing that washed away anything unworthy of my highest intention. I felt then and now feel again so light, clean, and assured.  Taking time for introspection, which is where the words you wrote yesterday came from, is an initial step to increased self-recognition. It is a power move that strengthens and clarifies the inner essence of you.  The authentic you is someone who trusts and loves. The inner you is confident, fearless. The subconscious is instinctive, emotionally free.

Emotional Exercise 1 exposes your power. That exercise also reveals the ingrained emotional enemies that sabotage your authenticity, happiness, wisdom, power, attitude, achievement, and eventually the ultimate manifestation of your true purpose in life.  This is why I suggest that you repeat Emotional Exercise 1 often and pair it with the learning insight you will get from Emotional Exercise 2.

I discovered three times (from each time that I completed Emotional Exercise 1) that I had an internal conflict that must be resolved in order for me to share a whole, supportive relationship with my intended helpmate. I GET it now! But, until this was revealed to me and I was willing to accept the truth that showed up three times, my relationship behavior that would attract the man who would love and support me would not happen.  Even though I knew that my previous preparation for a helpmate indicated a shift, this time I believe because I went deeper into my heart energy and I also opened up more to allow stronger illumination so that I could see what change I needed to adopt, I clearly know now what and who to allow within the sacred  space of my heart.

“Our greatest enemies, the ones we must fight most often, are within.” ~Thomas Paine

Now that you are energized, light hearted, uplifted, and fearless about your future, let’s get into Emotional Exercise 2.

Assignment:

  • Open your page from Emotional Exercise 1 (that you wrote out free form yesterday) and quickly read your words.  Still, no judgment, no negative chatter about how ridiculous what you wrote sounds like while reading it today, NOTHING. True objectivity is required here.  Just read and absorb the inner promptings from Emotional Exercise 1.
  • Next, write on the back of your page – WHY. At the top of the opposite page that you wrote out Emotional Exercise 1, write in longhand again in a free form style the reasons WHY do you see yourself in such a whole, happy place six months from now.  Dig into the emotions of WHY you will change and what it means to you.

Again, do not belabor this, just write. Write. Write for  30 minutes.  Get into WHY.  Challenge your surface emotions and go deeper into more real, substantive reasons WHY you know you want this emotional and behavior change and knowingly attach the feelings with it.  Write and feel the feelings too.  Write, open up, flow with the words of justification and right emotions.  No judgment, no fear, no doubt.  Don’t linger or get impatient.

Emotional Exercise 2 tends to be tougher because you are asking yourself why do you deserve the exhilaration of being in Sedona, why you are excited about losing weight and getting your sexy whole self back. You are probing deep into WHY you deserve joy and happiness in whatever form these Emotional  Exercises reveal unto you.

Stay with it, write for only 30 minutes. Feel the lightness in your being. Attach the emotions to your achievement. Exercise your emotions. Write.

  • Stop. Write and put your pen down after you have reached my requested 30 minutes of writing time. I know it feels good to get it out, to let the pent-up reserved part of your subconscious emotions that you buried safely and deeply to avoid the superficial injuries of doubt, sabotage, ridicule, fear, or impossibility maim your true destiny and happiness become known and your strengthen your inner resolve. All good, but Rome was not built in a day and you will not resolve these deep pockets of shaded pain in one writing session.  Stop writing and rest in the emerging feeling of deserved happiness inside.
  • Feel deserving of ALL you desire and are purposed for. Feel the emotions of the exercise and rest. Let this marinate, absorb the power and freedom you feel.  Internalize the emotions. Inculcate deeply your vision of purposeful joy.  Touch your authentic self.

You are in charge of this new point of view. See the glorious horizons, feel the joy.

Exercise 3 will come to you next week. Right now and for the days until we get to Emotional Exercise 3 – feel the feelings of your emotions.   Feel the joy. See your horizons.  Smell the refreshing resonance of pure, refreshing change. Stay with these feelings – don’t bury them again. Let your feelings breathe and you breathe rare, mountaintop pure air of your authentic self.

Don’t let these emotions go. Attach yourself to the illumination and guided light into your near future.  You deserve every second of elation. You need the strength of this new found exhilaration. You must travel to and make the behavioral change of your intended glory.

Feel the feelings and grow.

I thank you for completing Emotional Exercise 2. Let me offer my highest gratitude and expectation that you will ingest the feelings and learning from both Emotional Exercise 1 and 2 into your permanent being.  Live in-joy.