Come Clean in 2019

New Year'S Day, New Year'S Eve, Abstract

Make this your new all-year mantra:

I will Come Clean in 2019

Say it again: I will come clean in 2019

Right now today and every day from now on all through 2019—do what it takes for you to come clean so you can authentically live your dreams.  Be honest about your dreams, tell the truth about what’s in your heart, expose how you are really doing (maybe for the first time ever), acknowledge your doubts and fears, be bold-share your challenges and success.

The challenge for you in 2019 is essentially internal—know who you are inside and out.  Invest in hearing your true inner thoughts. Evaluate your insecurities, claim your goals and desires, accept that you can and will change, and vividly see your achievements.

First, have no fear. Hear and feel the authentic YOU. Quietly, without judgment, examine in increments your doubts and insecurities.  Everyone has them; face whatever comes up with courage and confidence.  Change any thought of “impossible” to I’M POSSIBLE, that’s really who you are.

Start now by celebrating 2019.  This is your year to make changes in your life and thus in the world.  It may feel daunting at first to accept responsibility for self-change and then think about how this change , however minute, affects the world. Make life changes- feel the fear (doubt or insecurity) and dogmatically do it anyway.

Next, accept that change is both a challenge and a bounty that you desire and deserve. Get ready now, work on yourself with a positive mindset, so that you are prepared to proudly claim your goals and desires.

I will come clean in 2019

The year 2019 is 365 days long; keep who you are and what you purpose to do in your heart, mind and soul all day every day and make progress towards that by vamping up your selective activities, network, contacts, and incremental projects to reach your goal(s).

Remember a goal without a definite completion date is only a longing. Write down each goal with a close out date.

       “Do one thing every day that scares you.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

What one daily activity will you do to come clean in 2019? Write out your list of tasks (they may scare you) that stretch your exposure zone every day.

Here are suggestions that will enable you to make the scary into the sacred:

  • Read:

Climb Every Obstacle; Eliminate Your Limits! – Anita Jefferson

The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom: Practical and Spiritual Steps so You Can Stop Worrying –Suze Orman

The Abundance Book

Strengths Finder – Tom Rath

Wake Up Happy – Michael Strahan

Living Large for the Long Haul – Clark Howard

The Secret

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success – Deepak Chopra

Oh, the Places You’ll Go – Dr. Seuss

“Congratulations! Today is your day…You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. YOU can steer yourself any direction you choose….” ~Dr. Seuss


  • Meditate

Meditation is to the mind what aerobic exercise is to the body.

  • Write it down

Write It Down Make it Happen: Knowing What You Want and Getting It  (Henriette Anne Klauser, Ph.D.)

  • Make a Goal List

Goal Setting

  • Make a Dreamboard
  • Listen to music
  • Dance
  • Repeat daily as often as you like – I will come clean in 2019

Make each day in 2019 your day to come clean.  Examine what scares you (doubts, fear, insecurity) and make it sacred.

“Fear does not exist, only interpretations.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

75 Questions: Day 54

There are 75  days before the new Gregorian calendar year opens. So, for the next 21 days (Monday – Sunday) the blog postings will ask you just one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, it may engage or even tickle you.

The 75 questions are written to probe, to prompt a reaction. The thrust is to get you to stretch, to press beyond tradition or boundaries, to think broader, to break free, to face the fear, or liberate you by confirming what you already know for sure.

You are only asked to post a thoughtful answer to the question. Then, be of the mindset to look for the benefit. You can examine what you are or are not afraid of.

It’s about what is real within you.  Each question is stylized to probe, to prompt a reaction, to get you to stretch, to press beyond tradition or boundaries, to think broader, to break free, to broker change, or embrace your awakened perception.

The beneficial intent of the 75 questions is to capture change. The question is to be a harbinger for inner change that leaves you feeling more safe, in control, powerful, intrigued, and authentic.

When these awesome emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

Question 54: What are you not afraid of?

75 Questions: Day 5

There are 75 days before the start of a new Gregorian calendar year. So, for the next 70 days (Monday – Sunday) the blog postings will ask you one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, or it may tickle you. The whole thrust of the 75 questions is to prompt a reaction and honest answer to the probe.

The instructive intent of the 75 questions is to capture change. The questions are to be a catalyst for inner change that leaves you feeling more dynamic, powerful, intrigued, and authentic. When these salient emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

Post your answers, you will get a response to your replies and we will use these 75 questions to lift life as the year 2017 begins.


What are you afraid of?

One Thing You Must Do

You have heard the old line, “The only thing I have to do is pay taxes and die.” Wrong, the one thing you must do is LIVE…. Death and taxes will take care of themselves. Just live.

Psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud, in his sensible book, 9 Things You Simply Must Do to succeed in Love and Life, categorizes nine life skills that are vital to living well. I understand and agree with them all, BUT in a nutshell what Dr. Cloud is really advising readers to do is live and live YOUR life well.

From the case studies documented in the book, many of his clients and a myriad of other people who are stressed, depressed, and need to give negativity a rest are in the spiral of malcontent because they lack the courage to truly live.

My advice: Be selfish, Make changes in your life that best for YOU!

Leo Tolstoy says, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, no one thinks of changing themselves.”

Change Yourself

As of today, right now – the one thing you must do is fearlessly create the change in your life that powers your soul. Select your passion, feel the excitement of choosing to live the life you want to live.

Do that one thing and be ecstatic about it.
Live your joy, that is the one thing you must to.

Planget Quiet: Just for You

                                                                                                (photo credit: ocean/corbis)

It is time to relax, take a seat and remove the head mire in plangent quiet.

So often each day is full of frenetic movement,  help given without reserve, and mindless habits such that taking a rest is uncommon.  Yet, after exiting the womb, it is common for the baby to close their eyes and rest. Be like a baby for now; rest. Restore your mind and body.  Take a moment, right now, and relax and rest. Quiet, please.

Plangent quiet could be an oxymoron, a truly extreme juxtaposition of words. But, it this post, it is meant to remind you to relax in the place where you are right now. Delaying is not optional unless it  would thrust you into danger; then use caution but when you are safe, relax in the quiet. Injury to yourself or others is not the intent, but what is is the directive to safely take a moment to rest.

The adjective plangent means resounding loudly. Adding the word quiet to plangent implies a deliberate, resounding intention to be still and bask in the self-need for quiet for a moment. Take a few minutes then to kindle the spirit of hope, charity, love and passion-let it move into your being and cast out activity, worry, sadness, doubt, fear.

Be still, be quiet and contemplate you.

“The sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” ~Carl G. Jung

What Do You Expect?

What do you expect? Really, what DO you expect to happen in your life? The answer to this question can be the pivot for changes in your expectations. Do you expect life to work for you or against you? Do you expect to get what you want or do you expect threats that fight against your success?

Do you expect the opportunities of the world or do you expect bird-droppings?


created by Stuart Milesimage created by Stuart Miles

I anticipate that most people will say they expect to get what they want, but is that a consistent truth? Or, do you think doom when faced with obstacles that challenge your confidence or comfort? Let’s probe deeper to find the  internal attitude base of your expectations.  Our first step is to consider your first thoughts while reading two scenarios. Note your feelings and inner thoughts to these scenarios:

Scenario One:

You receive a phone call or get a letter that appears threatening and you begin to create mind ideas that there is a problem. As you replay the tone of the call or look at the return address on the envelope, you feel dread. Your mind tells you that this mess always happens to me. You feel threatened and get set to fight whatever comes since this is not “new” to you; there is always something you have to be on guard against such as possible rejection, complaints, or useless demands.  Here we go again is a primary response to the call or official looking letter.

Scenario Two:

You get the phone call of a lifetime or the letter is just what you are expecting. This call or letter portends to make this an exciting day; no problems.  You feel confident and assured whatever the person has to say, you know you can handle the demands that the letter may require. Whatever, whenever – it does not disturb you. You are ready to handle what comes your way, you do not feel threatened nor is your positive resolve to manage the outcome disturbed.

Which is your usual reaction when faced with different scenarios? Do you stoke the flame of dumping doubt and personalize problems or do you know that you can handle what may come regardless of what happens and invite new opportunities?

Truth be told, behavioral researchers say that most people react with the mindset that the world is against them or dumping on them far more than feel in control a majority of the time. “When the going get tough most folks think the world is against them. Listen to the backstabbing and complaining,” says Rhonda Britten.

Warning: What you expect is usually what you get

To paraphrase a song by The Dramatics, What you expect is what you get. Now that you have examined your expectation if confronted with the two different scenarios, the obvious next question is how do I change or further deepen my positive expectation responses?

  1. Anticipate outcomes that are favorable. Adopt the attitude that you can handle whatever comes your way. This first response reaction to bad news or potential problems signal that you have an inner confidence and background experience to manage life. It is not that you do not acknowledge that there could be hidden difficulties, of course there may be, but you know within that you can and will move beyond onto something else soon.
  2. Feel faith rather than fear. Faith is the presence of ability to move into a positive zone.  Fear is the absence of faith in the moment to re-frame initial negative cautionary reaction to protect yourself from threat.  A simple immediate change in perspective is the shift needed to flee fear and embrace faith in your knowledge, rich experiences, and ability.
  3. Greet each new experience with gratitude.  Rhonda Britten adds in her book, Change Your Life in 30 Days, “Gratitude is the first essential step to claim the innocence needed to see the world is for you…Gratitude cures the jaded, overprotective, and defended heart. Gratitude helps you see that the world is for you.”
  4. Accept a new truth – expect good and goodness.  Expect good, expect that you are more than capable, expect the operation of faith.

What you expect is what you get. What you see is what you get. What you feel  is what you get. You might as well expect, see and feel good-that is what you will get.

You Didn’t Say That!

You Didn’t Say That-no you didn’t!

We are bombarded with a minimum of 70,000 thoughts day and night. New science suggests that the number of thoughts that we process through our mind now reaches over a million given the frenetic, over stimulated environment we now live in. And, researchers add that almost 70% of those 1.2 million thoughts are negative. It causes one to wonder why there is so much stress, anger, and worry in the world.

Negative thoughts are learned. They come from previous messages that we have internalized, as early as childhood, which we have personalized and adopted as truth. Nothing could be further from the truth.

You are not those negative messages.

You were created with an inner happiness thermometer that should be blasting with joy, tranquility, understanding, love and compassion.  Happiness is natural to our being.

Thoughts become things, varied behaviorist, including those featured in The Secret: The Movie, validate this point.  When your life expressions are sourced from inner happiness you rise to your innate nobility and you walk and talk with an irresistible confidence that magnetizes and magnifies what you want and who you are. You begin to discover a vast unlimited power within yourself that frees you from fear and outer manipulation.

This is exactly why I opened my book, Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits, with a chapter that teaches you how to release your fear.  Fears become obstacles, fear destroys inner happiness. In the book you learn how to change 101 obstacles into opportunities- true opportunities for living well and happy.

You tap into your inner happiness with a powerful self belief that you are happy and deserve to be happy. Then we become beacons, we experience abundance and experience exhilarating tranquility.

Inner happiness already exists within all of us, no exception.  But because of our programming, it is clouded or covered over with mundane distractions and distortions.  You are whole and happy NOW!

Negative chatter is known to contribute to suicide, depression, obesity, bulimia, anorexia, fear, doubt, cancer, high blood pressure, autoimmune disease, stroke, heart attacks, infertility, impotence, loneliness, bullying, criticism, anger and a host of other physical, social and mental ills that stem from that 70% negative dialogue that goes on in our heads. Think about how we are bombarded and over stimulated day and night with images that do not feed our happiness. Yet, we thirst for release.

There is a reason why the new television show Secret Millionaire is a blockbuster hit. In fact the last show with millionaire Jerry Farber closes with this remark from him “if you want inner happiness do something for somebody else.” We all want to feel good even if it is vicariously.

In fact studies have shown that our mood is elevated just by the act of watching someone else do an act of kindness. Remember thoughts become things and the thing that we all want is happiness. It is just that basic.

Let us suppose our life is a tree. The laws of nature prove that if we water the tree with nourishment it will grow green and produce fruit. The same is true with our inner dialogue. If we water our minds with nourishing, positive inner happiness messages our tree will bear sweet, succulent fruit otherwise we will cultivate bitter, sour fruit and eventually our tree will become diseased and die.   One happy inner thought bears more fruit and life energy than ten sour thoughts.

Consciously change. Wipe your inner slate clean—like a tabla rosa.  Let me start by giving everyone this exercise:

For the next 21 days, the amount of time for your brain to create new pathways and habits, I want you to repeat to yourself ONLY positive words. Stand in front of a mirror with your hand over your heart and repeat something like this: In my world nothing ever goes wrong, or I am me and I love me and my world, or I am a happy and joyful being and then touch your head. Repeat these mantras declarations often every day for 21 days with a gorgeous smile and I guarantee you will feel a transformation and shift to a restful pace of inner happiness. Repetition and emotion are the most powerful way to change mind responses.

Next, I want you to pay attention to the mental pollution that goes on in your mind and then diffuse the negativity by following these ABCD steps:.

Ask yourself – is this true? One of the best ways to recognize these automatic negative feelings is to be still, meditate, pause and slow down and listen to the sickening inner dialogue.  Then, question the validity of the thought and immediately take the second step which is to brand a new belief.

Brand into your mind that you are wonderful, exciting, lovable, valuable. Go back to your 21 day exercise if you need too and use those positive words to create your inner happiness.

Combat and challenge negative self-talk. That’s what I had to do. Call it out, fight for your inner happiness. Say out loud, You DIDN’T say that, get an attitude about it, be emphatic- your happiness depends on it.

DO your bucket list now. By this I mean that inner happiness requires that you start doing the fun and exciting things that you enjoy now rather than wait until you can wear purple – build inner happiness in the present without doubt or fear.

Remember thoughts become things and the thing that you deserve is happiness. This is your birthright – nobility and happiness.

Clear Your Fear

Learn How to Face Your Fears (from the book Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits!)

This exercise is designed to give you pause time to stop and objectively evaluate your fears. Be honest, the outcome depends on it. Repeat often until it becomes a first response habit.


1.       Identify three of your greatest fears. Write them down

A.      ________________________________________


B.      ________________________________________


C.       ________________________________________


2.       Acknowledge each fear; say each one out loud using I am statements. (Example: I am afraid of ……….) For each fear write: Is it real or imagined. Be honest.


Fear A:     ___________________________


Fear B:    ___________________________


Fear C:    ___________________________


3.       Educate yourself about each one. Re-write your script using I statements. (Example: I will control my response to singing in public by taking voice lessons)








4.       Write three affirmations you will use to overcome fear













5.        Set a deadline to gradually eliminate/minimize each fear; i.e., public speaking, for example, until you conquer it.











Harmony: The Answer to Happiness

A New Earth

Image via Wikipedia

It is axiomatic that when you are angry, stressed, frightened, or in any other toxic state of mind that you are not in alignment with your true, valued purpose for life. It is truly not possible to be happy and disturbed at the same time…utterly impossible!

I don’t care what the precipitating factors are for being out of alignment, whether external or internal in your mind, it is your mind that can restore balance and harmony. Right now, begin to center your mind and think about harmony; this is the only answer to happiness.

Let us begin: (Take FIVE minutes to restore your happiness)

* Clear all noise clutter- NO television, radio, telephone or computer
* Close your eyes
* Offer statement(s) of gratitude. “I am thankful for my breath” “Thank you universe for quiet peace” “My heart is grateful for …..”
* Visualize you in the most harmonious, happy place. Linger there and feel the profound wonders of joy, serenity, purpose
* Claim the calm that comes when you accept harmony, happiness
Say: I am happy! I am calm. I am a joyful and happy being. I am….
* Accept that you are happy. I am happy-let the universe know by showing your happiness with a smile, kind word, tender touch, or helpful action that broadens and deepens the harmony you have within.
* Open your eyes and your mind

You are happy. Go out and live happy-that’s your real purpose.

Repeat this restoration exercise often.
Harmony and happiness can be fleeting when we concentrate on events, situations, or stories which are otherwise.

Attract happiness and harmony with deliberate intention-focus your thoughts solely on being in this state of mind consistently and you will live the answer to happiness:harmony.

Be still, release the emotional noise and be in the pure essence of happiness. Eckhart Tolle