75 Questions: Day 65

There are only 10 questions left. Are you amazed about the changes evident in you?

When the questions began, 75  days ago, which then was the exact number of days before the opening of a new year 2017, according to the Gregorian calendar. The countdown began and now there are 10 days until New Year (Monday – Sunday). As is customary, the remaining blog postings will ask you just one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, it may be the catalyst for indelible change, or it may even tickle you.

The intent of all 75 questions is to probe, to prompt a reaction, to get you to stretch, to press beyond tradition or boundaries, to think broader, to break free, to face the fear, or liberate you by confirming what you already know for sure. You are only asked to respond each day with a thoughtful answer to the question.

Each question, ultimately, is to give you the intimate space to recover how to love yourself which universally expands and to allow you to love and live with empathy for others.

These 75 question can precipitate change. The question is to be a inquiry into pathways of inner change that leaves you feeling more healthy, safe, in control, powerful, intrigued, and authentic.

When these amazing emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

Question 65: How healthy are you?


Monday Miracle: Trust

Trust should be earned, it is not an inalienable right in any relationship.  Even so, the ability to trust others is power. Why? Trust is the motor oil of life. Your quality of life pivots upon the ability to have trusting relationships. Otherwise, what are relationships for?

Rather than live a cautious, suspicious life-learn to trust others upon building a more than instinctual relationship. Get to know the integrity of the person, pay attention to what is important to them to see if there is true compatibility, and wait for the chemistry of trust to materialize.  Trust is earned; don’t give away your power.

Some trusting relationships fail, still value the trusted relationships that you have. Although you may feel anger, disappointment for the moment in them and within yourself it does not mean that you lack the ability to form trusting relationships or that all people cannot be trusted.  Regain trust, for it is a part of your life force.

“Trust starts with truth and ends with truth.”
~Santosh Kalwar,

You can regain your trust in others by:

  • restoring a self-trust, acknowledge  the truth that you have a strong ability to trust yourself even when others make mistakes which pain you.
  • Look for the truth.  You may want to quietly reflect, think deeply and honestly about the present betrayal you feel. Allow your intuition to become your north star guide to resolve the trust issue.
  • Remember the good decisions you have made which blossomed your ability to trust. Never linger too long is the valley of doubt. Move past this infraction, restore your ability to trust.

Listening to your intuition will help you determine the right action to take to reestablish your sense of trust. When we have been stung by another person’s lack of honesty, it can be easy to dismiss from our feelings. But, trust requires honesty on both parties. Therefore, you should not bury your emotions and move on as if nothing happened. Instead, evaluate whether the relationship should be restored and how you will proceed or decide the breech signifies a permanent break

Trust yourself and deal with others honestly. Develop and cherish relationships that are built on trust, truth and understanding-this is your lifeline to happiness and success.

Clear Vision: Clarity in 3 Steps

Red smudges shaped as heart            Corbis photographer:© Thanh-Khoa Tran/Corbis

“Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” —C.G. Jung

Look inside, awaken to clarity.  Looking around, hither and yon, seeking external confirmation does not lead to inner discovery. You must look deep into your heart to clearly see what is purposed for you.  Clear vision often happens when you soul search but you must need to do more. Dig deep and penetrate as you concentrate. Penetrating your inner desires, manifests clarity of passion, purpose, and power.

Passion, purpose and power is not a dream state, but a clear knowing that is integral to you. It matters not the source to which we turn outside of ourselves to fix ourselves, it cannot be done. Try as hard as you can to point to “if only” or “someone” to complete you, it is a futile projection. Only you can awaken to life and clear vision.

The premise of the book, Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits! is that you are the CEO of your life, only you. Once you recognize that you are your life’s chief operator and begin to trust your influence and ability, the things you intend to achieve is then actualized through the benefit of clear vision.

Clarity is achievable. Use these three steps to clear your vision:

  1.  Pause for a minimum of five minutes a day for the next twelve days (the time it generally takes to inculcate a new habit) and listen to your heart. Really probe, examine what is your true heart’s desire. Embrace whatever surfaces; let the longing of your heart express itself.
  2. Plan for what you hear from your heart.  Oftentimes, a true longing from the heart is so buried within, encased in fear, that not only do you not know what your heart whispers, but you systematically suppress what is inside with busy-ness. This time, hear your heart and plan to carry out what’s inside. Your plan may involve a one day activity i.e., go to a play or you may hear from your heart that you want to be a thespian.
  3. Accept the prompting from your heart with sincere gratitude. Be mindful, with graciousness, that this is clearly what you are meant to do and then attentively do it.

You are awakened. You can see clearly, all obstacles have vanished and out of your way. Gone are the dreams that linger on the outside, you clearly see, know and must act with clarity.

Come Alive!


Alive (Photo credit: Kara Allyson)

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

~Dr. Howard Thurman

Practice what you teach; that’s all it takes to be a practice teacher. Start today by noticing what you practice successfully (meaning what you are good at) and begin teaching that.

Rather than search all over the world for meaning, practice teach what has meaning for you right now.  Modify your inner world-that what you know, practice and teach-to create your outer world.

Ask yourself what makes you come alive.

That’s what you exhibit to the world.  Touch what is intrinsic to you inside.  Magnify and illumine that gift of an alive spirit within you and then glow in your happiness.  You will feel an increased self-worth, gain in purpose identity, and sprint to new levels of success when what you practice and then teach is synchronized to your belief and action.

You already sense what is meaningful to you. That true purpose of yours is there, but it may take some changes in your learned automatic responses to uncover “meaning” that has been buried because of fear, tradition, criticism, doubt or other internalized limitations.

To come alive, you have to open up to life and leave all of your obstacles behind.

Here is how to begin to come alive and live a life of success:

  1. Get into alignment. Akaya Windwood, president of the Rockwood Leadership Institute suggests using mindful activities such as meditation or yoga to shift into stronger alignment with your innate passion to come alive. She says, “These practices help people to determine what’s meaningful to them and get aligned with these interests.” Or, create a mantra that magnifies your passion.  The point with alignment is create inner and outer congruency to live out alive.
  2. Seek opportunities.  Search for opportunities in your life, whether its career or personal, to practice teach what is meaningful to you. Toss out your fears and do it, find opportunities that give you the freedom to make a contribution.  Opportunities are out there, step into an existing one or create your own opportunity.  It is up to you to find compatible ways to practice and teach what you value. Read Making Good.
  3. Get out of a bind. Get away from whatever is binding you. Get out of the mental ropes that strap your mind. Eliminate your limits, resist useless tradition.  Push back, investigate truth, examine meaning for yourself. Really search your mental attitude and rid yourself of oppressive coils of expectation. Trash mental clutter and open up to fresh, new possibilities and begin to practice teach what is bind-less to you.
  4. Make a list. Now that you are open, ready to change and explore your intrinsic meaning of living alive and awakened, make your own life list. John Goddard made his “life list” of things he wanted to do at the age of fifteen. He wrote 127 goals or experiences that were meaningful to him-he came alive.  Write your life list, live alive.

Active passion, that may or may not be guided by a life list, is one practice of the successful and fulfilled. Every person has a passion for something.  The achievement key is to get your practice teaching certificate by living your purpose and passion now.

Come alive.

Radiate Confidence


Confidence (Photo credit: wherefishsing)

Hold your head high.

Look into the eyes of the person you are talking to. Radiate confidence, you are strong enough to be bold.  Bold confidence allows you to feel wonderfully lively, radiant and vibrant. Because when you radiate confidence, you are likely to attract a different type of attention.

You may find that you magnify an assurance which is noticeable.  Not only should others take notice, so should you. Pay attention to the different responses you get when you radiate confidence. More smiles, more flirts, more offers of support and assistance. Your high energy mood can make you feel like a star.

Stand erect.

Square your shoulders. Tighten your tummy. Project out to the world that you are a confident person.  When you radiate confidence, it is natural to attract attention.  Bask in the moment.

“You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar.  Start smashing through those emotional barriers.  Move forward.  Life doesn’t magically give you what you want in your mind; it gives you what you insist upon with your actions.” ~Mark Hack

Even if you are not entirely sure of yourself or very comfortable with this new radiant, confident persona, do it anyway.  Affirm your qualities.  Say out loud: I am radiantly confident. Speak this affirmation right now with fervor and conviction. Immediately feel how different you are once you remind yourself of your true value.

Believe in yourself.

You are confident. You are radiant. You are impressive.  Let the aura of radiant confidence permeate.  Avoid any negative self-talk. Speak confidently, attract the life you deserve. Show others that you adore who you are.

Radiant confidence allows you to act decisively. That’s right, you know who you are and what you intend to accomplish.  When others notice that you are resolute, the universe begins to magnetize into existence exactly what you want provided that you maintain confidence and pinpoint focus and are ready to work diligently to accomplish those aims.

Ambition is very good, so is confidence. The combination of the two attributes does not have to equate to arrogance. There is a huge difference. Arrogance presents itself as haughty, self-importance. But, confidence shows up as an inner knowing that is gracious.

Be confident.

Confidence begets radiance. You are allowed to shine. You must shine; the light of confidence is already inside of you. Let it out, glow.  Choose to be happy today, right now. Don’t wait to share your radiance. Be confidently assured that your time to shine is right now.

Lift yourself up to cloud nine.

Life is flying by; you will only get to the top clouds in life if you decide to be more radiant than sour. Discouragement, bad news, anguish, doubt grounds you if you choose to be bound to it. Soar, lift yourself above negativity. Get to cloud nine.

Confidence depends on the quality of your thoughts. Think happiness. Be radiant. Be a confident you.

Share your confidence –comment below. Tell others what you do to sustain your confidence. Let’s talk about radiance – how do you exhibit radiance?

5 Ways to Banish Stress

starsStress happens.

However, you do not have to allow stressful situations to implode your peace of mind. You can manage stress and the events that may precipitate stress for you which are personal to your personality. There are definite coping strategies which help you to live a life stress-free.

Life is not meant to be a stress rehearsal.

Fill your life with harmonious, healthy thoughts and experiences. Make a mantra for your life which banishes stress. One that I use is simply: love, joy, and peace. 

Effort is taken every day to not allow anything or anyone to violate the love, joy and peace that is integral to my well-being.

Actually, one’s well-being is intrinsic to the well-being of others too. When you feel good, you share good and that good which then expands to heal the world. Life is bestowed upon everyone; make sure you inculcate what is good so that you expose good to others. Good begets good. Good can banish stress

Five Secrets to a Stress-Free Life:

  1. Pay attention. Really listen to and hear your feelings. Release stress by tuning your mind to what you are feeling right now. The more attentive you are to your true feelings, the faster you recognize negative energy and can stop stress triggers from invading your intrinsic peace.
  2. Be still. Activity is over-valued. Stop and smell the evergreens, slow down and notice the beauty around you. Listen to the bees or watch a butterfly graciously wing its flight. Meditate on the things that are joyous and peaceful. Draw a Mandela or walk a labyrinth. Slow your pace, seek tranquility.
  3. Connect deep. Connect with others, go beyond polite conversation and build a deep association with someone in your life. You will likely find that blending your life with another in a non-sexual friendship improves your outlook and resolves the stress inducing emptiness of isolation.
  4. Get involved. Make a life investment in something or someone. Fight apathy. Instead of accepting a problem as unsolvable, seek a solution. Become a one person drummer, others will gain courage from your passionate conviction and soon a change movement will gain momentum.
  5. Love life. The practice of loving life, in spite of turmoil, minimizes stress. Bless your stress with omniscient love, ever-present, ever-lasting. Devote the majority of your energy to loving life, feel the eruption of gratitude. Give thanks, give love. Love your life!

Keep it simple.

Simplify your emotions so that your soul can breathe. Inhale deep breaths of calm, restfulness, kindness and joy.  Exhale harshness and seek balance, tenderness and gentle grace. Stress is a learned response to events or situations that alarm your inner good. Go with the flow, walk along with the soothing waves in your life. Restore relaxation, take it slow and easy. Live an intentional stress-free life.

BOSS Happiness in Your Life

  1. Plan ahead.  Keep pantry staples list, keep gas tank at least ½ full, make copies of keys. Check it off.
  2. Say NO!  Don’t over schedule your time with extra events, projects, or invitations.
  3. Get up fifteen minutes earlier and/or go to bed fifteen minutes earlier.  Give yourself a big hug.
  4. Don’t procrastinate.  Do it NOW! Schedule projects, events, vacations, or even dinners ahead of time.
  5. Prepare for the morning the night before.  Plan the first hour or two of the next day.
  6. Write it down!  Don’t rely on your memory.  Write each appointment on a calendar on in your PDA.
  7. Learn.  Take a magazine, inspirational book or tapes/CDs with you to use while you wait.
  8. Add $9.00. Buy an extra book of postage stamps.  Then your mail/bills won’t be delayed.
  9. Get a good night’s sleep or take a short power nap on the weekend.  20 minutes of real rest is divine.
  10. Ring, ring. Let the answering machine/message service take the call.  But promptly retrieve messages.
  11. Slow down!  It is permissible to stop and smell the roses, swing in the park, swim or relax.
  12. Simplify!  Enlarge your file 13 (garbage box) so that you keep the things that you only need.
  13. Give gifts.  Give away good items that you no longer need or want.  Someone else may treasure it.
  14. Make personal or family time a priority.  Build in some “me or us” time every day.
  15. Make one night a week family fun.  Do something exciting with a member of your family.
  16. Turn off the television/video games.  Tune into yourself and each other for real conversation.
  17. Adopt a hobby.  Paint, build, exercise, practice an instrument, or make crafts together.
  18. Schedule household assignments.  Create a simple reward system.  Create a checklist.
  19. Volunteer!  Research and commit to a volunteer project. Share your time and talent.
  20. Laugh, laugh, laugh!  Keep a jokes file or watch a funny movie.  Laughter is medicine for the soul.
  21. Stretch.  Take mini stretch breaks after long meetings or sits.  Stretch and breathe deep.
  22. Write weekly goals.  Look for gaps and over commitment.  Eliminate tension builders.
  23. Use email or voice mail reminders to yourself and others to cut out any stress.
  24. Enjoy a good meal or dessert or snack.  Don’t just rush.  Savor each flavor.
  25. Take breaks.  Do NOT work through lunch.  It is important to leave your desk.
  26. Look at your color choices.  If you see that your predominant color is neutral or black, add color!
  27. Delegate.  Choose responsible people, designate specific tasks, and let it go.  Don’t micro-manage.
  28. Journal.  Keep a journal.  You will be amazed at how much you achieved in a year.
  29. Be a friend.  Care about others and lean on them for comfort too.  Confidential sharing relieves stress.
  30. Vacation.  Plan relaxation days (bookend to a weekend) or plan a longer vacation to rest, relax, restore.
  31. Visualize.  See your success in exact, vivid detail.  Plan what success is and looks like ahead of time.
  32. Avoid negativity.  Negative people or situations should be avoided.  Maintain optimism.
  33. Worry less.  Don’t deny your concerns, but spend minimal time worrying.  Decide what must be done.
  34. Change.  If your routine is reflexive, you do the same things.  Change where you go or what you do.
  35. Be private.  Allow time every day for privacy, quite time or solitude to reflect on what’s important.
  36. Do the hardest first!  Get it out of the way so that you can pleasantly, leisurely enjoy the rest.
  37. Count.  Count to fifty (50) before you speak.  Pausing a few minutes before an outburst saves anxiety.
  38. Forgive.  Standardize your expectations of yourself and others.  Expecting perfection is stressful.
  39. Smile.  Be optimistic and project joy.  You will feel good and so will others around you.
  40. Gather loose change.  Count all of your coins and give yourself a treat.
  41. Say Thank You!  Express gratitude.  Appreciate and recognize the goodness in others.
  42. Make something.  Try origami; build a kite, ceramics, pottery.  Find a creative outlet.
  43. Dance.  Turn on the music.  Dance, step lively for a few minutes a day.
  44. Talk positive.  When your words are positive, encouraging others respond in kind.
  45. Sing.  Let the melody flow.  Even if it is only in the shower, add vocal rhythm to your day.
  46. Meditate.  Be still.  Listen to earth sounds, hear the birds chipper, connect with nature.
  47. Cry.  Release tension with a good cry.  Let it all out and let it go. Then, smile and move on.
  48. Try something new.  Candy-making, belly dancing, sign-language, fitness, weights, bike riding, skating.
  49. Take a bath. No quick shower. Fill the tub with warm, soothing water and chill. Add aromatherapy.
  50. Redlight.  While stopped at a red light, say to yourself, “I am happy” or “I am an achiever.”
  51. Take a class.  If you are challenged in areas of your life, take a class. Learn something different.
  52. Renew every day. BOSS or TOSS something in your life everyday and live anew.