75 Questions: Day 25

incongruent

There are 75 days before the start of a new Gregorian calendar year. So, for the next 50 days (Monday – Sunday) the blog postings will ask you one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, or it may tickle you.  It’s about you. The whole thrust of the 75 questions is to prompt a reaction and honest answer to the probe.

The direct intent of the 75 questions is to capture change. The questions are to be a catalyst for inner change that leaves you feeling more dynamic, congruent, powerful, intrigued, and authentic. When these salient emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

Post your answers, you will get a response to your replies and we will use these 75 questions to lift life as the year 2017 begins.

Question 25: What incongruities are in your life?

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One Thing You Must Do

You have heard the old line, “The only thing I have to do is pay taxes and die.” Wrong, the one thing you must do is LIVE…. Death and taxes will take care of themselves. Just live.

Psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud, in his sensible book, 9 Things You Simply Must Do to succeed in Love and Life, categorizes nine life skills that are vital to living well. I understand and agree with them all, BUT in a nutshell what Dr. Cloud is really advising readers to do is live and live YOUR life well.

From the case studies documented in the book, many of his clients and a myriad of other people who are stressed, depressed, and need to give negativity a rest are in the spiral of malcontent because they lack the courage to truly live.

My advice: Be selfish, Make changes in your life that best for YOU!

Leo Tolstoy says, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, no one thinks of changing themselves.”

Change Yourself

As of today, right now – the one thing you must do is fearlessly create the change in your life that powers your soul. Select your passion, feel the excitement of choosing to live the life you want to live.

Do that one thing and be ecstatic about it.
Live your joy, that is the one thing you must to.

Radiate Confidence

Confidence

Confidence (Photo credit: wherefishsing)

Hold your head high.

Look into the eyes of the person you are talking to. Radiate confidence, you are strong enough to be bold.  Bold confidence allows you to feel wonderfully lively, radiant and vibrant. Because when you radiate confidence, you are likely to attract a different type of attention.

You may find that you magnify an assurance which is noticeable.  Not only should others take notice, so should you. Pay attention to the different responses you get when you radiate confidence. More smiles, more flirts, more offers of support and assistance. Your high energy mood can make you feel like a star.

Stand erect.

Square your shoulders. Tighten your tummy. Project out to the world that you are a confident person.  When you radiate confidence, it is natural to attract attention.  Bask in the moment.

“You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar.  Start smashing through those emotional barriers.  Move forward.  Life doesn’t magically give you what you want in your mind; it gives you what you insist upon with your actions.” ~Mark Hack

Even if you are not entirely sure of yourself or very comfortable with this new radiant, confident persona, do it anyway.  Affirm your qualities.  Say out loud: I am radiantly confident. Speak this affirmation right now with fervor and conviction. Immediately feel how different you are once you remind yourself of your true value.

Believe in yourself.

You are confident. You are radiant. You are impressive.  Let the aura of radiant confidence permeate.  Avoid any negative self-talk. Speak confidently, attract the life you deserve. Show others that you adore who you are.

Radiant confidence allows you to act decisively. That’s right, you know who you are and what you intend to accomplish.  When others notice that you are resolute, the universe begins to magnetize into existence exactly what you want provided that you maintain confidence and pinpoint focus and are ready to work diligently to accomplish those aims.

Ambition is very good, so is confidence. The combination of the two attributes does not have to equate to arrogance. There is a huge difference. Arrogance presents itself as haughty, self-importance. But, confidence shows up as an inner knowing that is gracious.

Be confident.

Confidence begets radiance. You are allowed to shine. You must shine; the light of confidence is already inside of you. Let it out, glow.  Choose to be happy today, right now. Don’t wait to share your radiance. Be confidently assured that your time to shine is right now.

Lift yourself up to cloud nine.

Life is flying by; you will only get to the top clouds in life if you decide to be more radiant than sour. Discouragement, bad news, anguish, doubt grounds you if you choose to be bound to it. Soar, lift yourself above negativity. Get to cloud nine.

Confidence depends on the quality of your thoughts. Think happiness. Be radiant. Be a confident you.

Share your confidence –comment below. Tell others what you do to sustain your confidence. Let’s talk about radiance – how do you exhibit radiance?

Rev Up Your Activation Energy

You are at your goal start line, rev your success engine. Only you can put the pedal on your life accelerator. Nobody else can rev   your engine, you alone must press the pedal that accelerates your life. Only you can drive the lane to your success.

This is a reality: YOU control your life pace. Many want to blame outside forces and rationalize external happenings as the reason they stall out at the start line. Others get started, but fail to maintain their goal lane because they are looking everywhere else to see what someone else is doing.  And then there are those who make it close to the goal line and stall out right there-completely out of gas because they did not plan for their success.

All of these defense mechanisms – blame, irrational rationalization, lack of focus, stalling, not planning – are all negative psychological tendencies that flatten your activation energy; the fuel that masters any goal. There is no way you will climb over obstacles to live a happy, fulfilled life when these energy barriers dominate your thinking.

Shawn Achor, seen on the PBS special program “The Happiness Advantage”, is a Harvard educated researcher on life fulfillment and happiness, asserts that “the real story of happiness is that every person has a range of potential — in terms of intelligence, athletic ability, musicality, creativity, and productivity — and we are more likely to achieve the upper bounds of our brain’s potential when we’re feeling positive, rather than negative or neutral.”

What can you do when you just float along? How far do you go when your energy is sapped? How happy do you really feel when your mind is clouded with worry and despair?

Your success and ultimate happiness depends on your ability to activate your energy. In fact, Mr. Achor says “long-term success is based upon your ability to positively adapt to the world: optimism, social support creation, and viewing stress as a challenge instead of as a threat.” This adaptive perspective is called your “activation energy.”

Regardless of where you are in your life, it is time to rev up your activation energy. Here’s how to rev up your activation energy:
1. Want more joy. You have to want more happiness and inner joy in your life. This first you step is the fulcrum of being joyful. You can be happy. You deserve to be happy.

2. Activate your energy. Now that you seek more joy and fulfillment in your life, it is time to actively pursue your happiness. Stop waiting around for someone to make you fell good. Go out and do the things that support your happiness and don’t stop until you feel joyful.

3. Disavow negativity. Get away from anyone or anything that disturbs your happiness. Take a “feelings” assessment: tune in to what and who feels good to you. When you find those energy drainers, and you definitely will, get rid of them.

4. Practice happiness. Give away your joy. Smile more, volunteer, sing, dance, fiddle, get in your zone. You will attract more and more happiness energy to play the harp of joy everyday in your life.

Activate your positive energy. Be happy. Take advantage of abundant joy-you deserve it.

Emotional Exercise 3

Strength can only be developed by practice and effort. Emotional Exercise strengthens the mental  power vital to success.

 

By now you have completed Emotional Exercise 1 and Emotional Exercise 2. Congratulations-you have undertaken two mental power components that strengthen your purpose vitality.  It will be helpful, as we proceed to Emotional Exercise 3, to review both exercises again. Remind yourself of WHAT you want and WHY these wants are important/valuable to you.  The emotional linkage of the two is vital to conquering doubt and fear.  Reminder: re-reading or even re-doing either or both is perfectly fine. I have done this exercise three times already and tested it twice out on a diverse population sample in advance of posting it to you. Repetition is good, practice and effort strengthens.

Emotional Exercise 3: 

  • Take a look at the ten things listed in the column below:  Write ALL ten down on a separate piece of paper.
  1. Job and money
  2. religion/spirituality
  3. good health
  4. friends
  5. family
  6. independence/ability to make your own decisions
  7. self-respect
  8. being a loving person/being loved
  9. freedom
  10. good life/social parties/entertainment
  • Now, take away four of those from the list above. Just cross them out on your sheet of paper.
  • Next, take away four more. Cross out four more from the list.
  • Take away ONE more from the list.
  • STOP and look at the one thing you have left from the list. Really pause and see the word you have kept from your list.  This word is what you value and hold most precious.  This is your ONE THING that is sacred, soul-touching, most valuable to you in the present.

Write the ONE THING you have left on a separate piece of paper or page in your journal.  This is important because that ONE THING is your mental governor, the thing that you will do anything to protect and hold secure in your life.

  • Ask yourself – write down the answer here – am I making decisions and living the life that proves that this ONE THING is my lifeline, my purpose? Am I living on purpose – protecting what I MOST value right now?

I know this part of Emotional Exercise 3  is difficult, hard to use an inner scope of thought to see and feel the ONE thing that you value and then probe into how you are living to protect that ONE thing.  But, strength only comes with practice and effort.  Take the effort of clearly comprehend this ONE point of your POWER and TRIUMPH.  Once you inculcate this, you become a strong fortress.  Don’t hold back-make the effort. Identify what you are doing, or not doing, to strengthen your ONE THING. Write it all down, study this question over and over again. Over and over again, probe and study this question until it becomes a legitimate, honest true concentration of who you are; until it becomes an unarguable purpose that is only for you and only made for you and can only be done by you.  

This is heavy stuff, but your mental freedom depends on the effort and practice of cleaning up the dross and defining in clear detail the ONE THING for you.

  • Write your ONE THING on multiple pieces of paper – post it notes, stickys, index cards,  poster stock, color paper.
  • Place your ONE THING everywhere. In the bath mirror, on exit doors, in your wallet, on the desk, in a photo frame, as wallpaper on your computer, in OneNote; see it often.

We will continue with Emotional Exercise 4 later in the week. For now, do Exercise 3 with fortitude and grace; see and concentrate on your purposed ONE THING.

Thank you for the trust and work you have done in Emotional Exercise 3 and for the tolerance you have exhibited to get you here. Know your ONE THING or work harder and with purposeful effort to get to know your one thing. Once this is crystallized and deeply ingested, you are on the precipice of lasting change.

I purpose you goodness, be well.