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You Are Responsible

“We must never merely…provide people with  programs which have little or nothing to do with their own preoccupations, doubts, hopes, and fears….It is not our role to speak to people about our own view of the world, nor to attempt to impose that view on them, but rather to dialogue with the people about their view and ours.”

~Paulo Freire, Pedagogy of the Oppressed

You are responsible! Regardless of how others may define “being responsible”, you hold the key to action and words which reflect a living response to situations or people which then canonize your values and ultimately declare who you are.

Paulo Freire is on point. Who has the right to determine, without broad input, what is good for others. Given the salient underpinning of each person’s environment from birth which shape one’s perspective and ego, everyone should consult and undergo a personal deepened examination of oneself before acting to salvage those who act, in their mind, less responsible.

Recent examples of environmental bias involve racism, homophobia, sexism, religious judgment, abuse in its may forms which result in actions that oppress and injure due out of external programs brokered by fear and undergirded bias.  How could one call the police on an 11 year old black boy who was innocently delivering papers unless the callers response was colored by racial bias? Or, how can a woman wearing a t-shirt stamped Puerto Rico be verbally abused unless there is a lack of honest responsibility and true caring for others.

Let’s probe further. Is it responsible to use religion and the bible to separate children from parents or deny legal rights only because they are of other nationalities than European?  Are you living responsible when you bombast same sex relationships by only imposing your view? Do women and men who are abused by someone in an authority role deserve justice?

What are responsible answers to these questions? What questions do you have that expand the dialogue so that accepted preoccupations, doubts, hopes or fears are challenged?

It is the responsibility of each one to care enough to question and gain knowledge. Once informed dialogue happens with a varied population of stakeholders a blended truth can emerge which heals rather than harm.

You are responsible, take it seriously. Own and accept your role in activating change.

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75 Questions: Day 22

 

Hearts

Unity from the heart

There are 75 days before the start of a new Gregorian calendar year. So, for the next 53 days (Monday – Sunday) the blog postings will ask you one question. That question may inspire you, it may perplex you, it may anger you, or it may tickle you.  It’s about your growth. The whole thrust of the 75 questions is to prompt a reaction and honest answer to the probe.

The major intent of the 75 questions is to capture change. The questions are to be a catalyst for inner change that leaves you feeling more dynamic, powerful, intrigued, and authentic. When these salient emotions are opened up within you (they already exist), you change and your world changes and the whole world changes with you.

Post your answers, you will get a response to your replies and we will use these 75 questions to lift life as the year 2017 begins.

How do you combat racism?

Whisper Loudly

Take a moment today to whisper loudly.  Let your heart be heard.  Speak your truth in a loud whisper so that first you hear what honestly resonates in your heart and others around you will hear and feel what you value.

Murmur your song, whisper out loud what matters most to you.  Discard worldly noise for a moment today and instead connect with your deep longing.  Whatever you desire, whisper that out loud.

If you long for stronger relationships with family and friends, whisper speak that and begin to make deliberate actions to strengthen your relationships.

Your whisper may be to invite peace into your heart and by extension into the world, start today by replacing anger, avoidance, or racism with peaceful actions that honor yourself and others.

You may whisper loudly to tackle a learned fear, great!  Today, examine your fear and decompress the learned emotion with active change. Do what you fear and feel the elation from starting to conquer it with valid stronger truth.

fear

Whisper out loud, voice out your desires. Canonize your fear. Banish illusions and with excitement – make your world great.

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Monday Miracle: Hate Well

“Do not tolerate the thing that you have a no-tolerance rule against.” ~Henry Cloud

There is such a thing as justifiable hatred.  Successful people know this and practice it judiciously.  To hate well means that there are some hard-fast character, social, and mental rules that you mark as inviolable.  You stand against racism or oppression no matter what.  You stand again lying or manipulation no matter what.  You stand against the act, not the person.

Dr. Henry Cloud, in his book 9 Things You Simply Must Do, writes that hating well always means that you have a loving or kind response to the person but evince a very strong stance on the issue.  Strong well placed hatred means unmovable, non-equivocal standards without meanness or malice toward the person.  In this way, strong non-judgmental values allow you to operate around the things that you hate without being infected by them while you work to remedy the situation or help someone.

Become a person who objectively chooses to hate well.  This allows you to discard the charged emotions that often damage or destroy the valued good you intend.  Then, you will preserve your integrity, shorten any stress, and contribute to well-being in your relationships.

Subjective hatred destroys.  When you choose to hate a person or an act and then react venomously, you are not separating what you value from either the person or situation.  Dr. Cloud says this is global hatred. In essence because you have been offended by a person, all people who look like that person or even more broadly is the same gender as the offender is treated malevolently.  Wrong!

Hate well instead.  Separate the charged emotions and previous pain you have internalized from the current person or situation that reminds you of a former space of injustice.  Subjective hatred often projects onto others angry, unjustified disdain and harsh judgment whereas objective hatred is precise in its assessment and addresses the infraction in ways that preserve the dignity of the person.

Hatred, as a healing and appropriate response to anything which infringes on your values, is good.  Either you stand for something or you perish for the lack of standing.  Those who hate poverty but not the impoverished hate well.  Those who hate hunger but not those who hunger hate well.  Those who hate profanity but do not curse the curser too hate well. 

Distinguish what you hate. Stand firm on the issue, and graciously on the person.

Tell us what you hate and how you make the choice to objectively hate well.  Send me your comments.