My Quarterly Booklist

O The Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss, 1990

GO-GIVER, Bob Burg and John David Mann, 2007

The Nine Rooms of Happiness, Lucy Danziger and Catherine Birndorf, 2010

52 Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem and Confidence, C. E. Rollins, 1992

Maximum Achievement, Brian Tracy, 1993

More Money Than God, Steven Z. Leder, 2003

—–

CD-Meditation: 4 Steps to Calmness and Clarity, Ed and Deb Shapiro, music by Tim Wheater

Advertisements

Emotional Exercise 4

The happiest life is that which constantly exercises and educates what is best in us.    ~Hamerton

You have reached a pinpoint moment in your life by already completing Emotional Exercises 1, 2, and 3.  Really, I mean really, really feel good about doing the exercises.  Taking effective action and piercing your layers of socialization and emotional makeup is life altering.  But, we are not done yet, Emotional Exercise 4 is here.

But, before I begin the instructions for it, please sit in a quiet place with your feet on the floor and just smile. Smile deeply and feel the resonance of inner happiness and joy that knows you have begun to re-frame your emotions into a sacred personal picture/vision of who you are that is intimate with accurate and acute, deep feelings about what you passionately desire that is bordered with vivid coloration of WHY you deserve to have it all and more.  Smile from your eyes, smile from your heart and smile from your soul inside. Priceless

How refreshing.  Smiling releases healing endorphins which ready you for Emotional Exercise 4.  Here are your instructions:

  • Repeat Exercise 1 by refreshing your memory about the free-form word list that you wrote. You are only given three minutes for this part-look, review, and stop. Your three minutes are up.
  • Next, take five minutes and read your WHY list that you wrote in Emotional Exercise 2. Five minute review, stop!
  • Third, read your ONE value. It should be so ingrained in your being that you know, with an inner “I got this” knowing that you can recall your ONE value without paper.  If you have to look it up or find it, go back to Emotional Exercise 3 and repeat until you are clear and definite about that ONE value that surpasses all others.
  •  New instruction – have a Walmart moment; match it!  Match your one WHY with your ONE value and then write your goal using those words. 

For example: my WHY is to feel and be healthy at a weight that supports longevity and my ONE value is self-respect.  Therein, my goal statement is to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day and reach a pumping heart rate so that I will lose weight and reach a weight goal of 165 pounds which will strengthen my self-respect and heighten my peace of accomplishment.

Notice the words in my stated goal. You see action (exercise), you see a definite schedule (30 minutes a day), you see intensity (heart pumping heart rate), you see my end point (165 pounds) and you see how much I value self-respect and why (strengthen and heighten accomplishment).  This goal is clear and strong in that I acknowledge that I already have high self-respect and peace within myself around this specific goal.  Also, note that this is one goal – my value changes with each of my other goals. For instance, loving and being loved is the prime value in my relationship goal. This makes sense; each goal should carry a value specific to it.

→To complete Emotional Exercise 4 – write your value and goal statement that incorporates your WHY and ONE value that is definite, clear, meshes feelings with intent, and has an end point.  That is what a goal is – it is a written statement and mental picture that is full of emotion that states what you want to achieve that is definite and has a point of closure.   Match it! Line up these two things – what you value with your why – as a deliberate, absolute statement of intention that invests your deepest emotions and states a end point.

When all of this is synchronized and in harmony with your inner belief, you will see your choices and outlook radically change.  A study of achievers prove that this formula — a true match of WHY and VALUE with a ending time frame — is what sets them apart from those who talk and are guided by fear.

Hint, you can probably guess what Emotional Exercise 5 might be.  If not, and even if you can guess what it is, this closing exercise will seal your success, solidify your choices, and solve your recidivism.  Gaming is over, only goals are ahead.

For now, go back to your quiet place after you have finished writing your statement and SMILE! Get to your happy spot because you are designing YOUR happiest life which constantly exercises and educates what is best for you.

You are loved!

Funny Friday

In celebration of my Mom’s eightieth birthday, I have a joke for you:

An elderly woman was beaming as she walked around the mall. Someone stopped and asked her what is the secret to her happiness.  She told her, today is my birthday and my children gave me a SUVsunflower seeds, unlimited talk card and vitamins.  They know me well; i love seeds, talking and staying healthy.

 

Claim you SUV and live out loud!

Happy funny, Friday.

You Didn’t Say That!

You Didn’t Say That-no you didn’t!

We are bombarded with a minimum of 70,000 thoughts day and night. New science suggests that the number of thoughts that we process through our mind now reaches over a million given the frenetic, over stimulated environment we now live in. And, researchers add that almost 70% of those 1.2 million thoughts are negative. It causes one to wonder why there is so much stress, anger, and worry in the world.

Negative thoughts are learned. They come from previous messages that we have internalized, as early as childhood, which we have personalized and adopted as truth. Nothing could be further from the truth.

You are not those negative messages.

You were created with an inner happiness thermometer that should be blasting with joy, tranquility, understanding, love and compassion.  Happiness is natural to our being.

Thoughts become things, varied behaviorist, including those featured in The Secret: The Movie, validate this point.  When your life expressions are sourced from inner happiness you rise to your innate nobility and you walk and talk with an irresistible confidence that magnetizes and magnifies what you want and who you are. You begin to discover a vast unlimited power within yourself that frees you from fear and outer manipulation.

This is exactly why I opened my book, Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits, with a chapter that teaches you how to release your fear.  Fears become obstacles, fear destroys inner happiness. In the book you learn how to change 101 obstacles into opportunities- true opportunities for living well and happy.

You tap into your inner happiness with a powerful self belief that you are happy and deserve to be happy. Then we become beacons, we experience abundance and experience exhilarating tranquility.

Inner happiness already exists within all of us, no exception.  But because of our programming, it is clouded or covered over with mundane distractions and distortions.  You are whole and happy NOW!

Negative chatter is known to contribute to suicide, depression, obesity, bulimia, anorexia, fear, doubt, cancer, high blood pressure, autoimmune disease, stroke, heart attacks, infertility, impotence, loneliness, bullying, criticism, anger and a host of other physical, social and mental ills that stem from that 70% negative dialogue that goes on in our heads. Think about how we are bombarded and over stimulated day and night with images that do not feed our happiness. Yet, we thirst for release.

There is a reason why the new television show Secret Millionaire is a blockbuster hit. In fact the last show with millionaire Jerry Farber closes with this remark from him “if you want inner happiness do something for somebody else.” We all want to feel good even if it is vicariously.

In fact studies have shown that our mood is elevated just by the act of watching someone else do an act of kindness. Remember thoughts become things and the thing that we all want is happiness. It is just that basic.

Let us suppose our life is a tree. The laws of nature prove that if we water the tree with nourishment it will grow green and produce fruit. The same is true with our inner dialogue. If we water our minds with nourishing, positive inner happiness messages our tree will bear sweet, succulent fruit otherwise we will cultivate bitter, sour fruit and eventually our tree will become diseased and die.   One happy inner thought bears more fruit and life energy than ten sour thoughts.

Consciously change. Wipe your inner slate clean—like a tabla rosa.  Let me start by giving everyone this exercise:

For the next 21 days, the amount of time for your brain to create new pathways and habits, I want you to repeat to yourself ONLY positive words. Stand in front of a mirror with your hand over your heart and repeat something like this: In my world nothing ever goes wrong, or I am me and I love me and my world, or I am a happy and joyful being and then touch your head. Repeat these mantras declarations often every day for 21 days with a gorgeous smile and I guarantee you will feel a transformation and shift to a restful pace of inner happiness. Repetition and emotion are the most powerful way to change mind responses.

Next, I want you to pay attention to the mental pollution that goes on in your mind and then diffuse the negativity by following these ABCD steps:.

Ask yourself – is this true? One of the best ways to recognize these automatic negative feelings is to be still, meditate, pause and slow down and listen to the sickening inner dialogue.  Then, question the validity of the thought and immediately take the second step which is to brand a new belief.

Brand into your mind that you are wonderful, exciting, lovable, valuable. Go back to your 21 day exercise if you need too and use those positive words to create your inner happiness.

Combat and challenge negative self-talk. That’s what I had to do. Call it out, fight for your inner happiness. Say out loud, You DIDN’T say that, get an attitude about it, be emphatic- your happiness depends on it.

DO your bucket list now. By this I mean that inner happiness requires that you start doing the fun and exciting things that you enjoy now rather than wait until you can wear purple – build inner happiness in the present without doubt or fear.

Remember thoughts become things and the thing that you deserve is happiness. This is your birthright – nobility and happiness.

Detox Your Mind

For a while I did not recognize that I was in a transition/clearing out phase. All I knew was that I felt unsettled and angry. Neither of these character traits belong to me so I began to explore the root of my dis-ease and found that I was toxic.

In spite of being careful about those whom I associated with, being a loving-giving person and having a quality family history, I discovered recessive toxicity.

The detox steps that I took included:

1.Isoloation. I had to isolate myself for cleansing and rejuvenation. The toxin parasites I had collected leeched not only my mind processing but also negatively impacted my energy level and health. Uncharacteristically, I have had four respiratory attacks in less than three months – something is definitely off here. My remedy is to undergo a cleansings where I only ate organic fruits and vegetables and drank plenty of water to flush my system of parasitic toxins.

2. Meter. I began to pay attention and meter test my energy around my associates. Yes,  even though all of them were unaware that they were being tested so that I could determine those who sizzled my toxic meter, I began to easily recognize persons, areas, and activities that elevated my toxic seeking sense. Those who pulsed my meter as toxic, I asked the universe to gently remove them away from my space.

The temptation I fought, ironically, was to want to take them back in spite of my truthful knowing doing so was not healthy. What I had to learn is that toxins contribute to chaos and thrives on the continuance thereof.  Dr. Claude Bristol asserts that toxins interfere with your subconscious power and robs you of the ability to function with higher reasoning.

3. Meditation. I began to read more and meditate with higher intensity. Obviously I needed to connect with internal spiritual answers which I could collect from my subconscious source.  Meditation, prayers and reading higher source material began to add refreshing energy into my absorbent mind.

I had to go higher and dig deeper and trust my subconscious promptings. Two books helped me to soar – Love and Power in A Limitless Word (Terry Cole Whitaker) slapped me in the face with the truth about myself and started me to heal. I slung that book away from me so many times that if it had been Humpty Dumpty, as reflected in my shattered self, I would have never re-gained equilibrium and complete fusion.  The second book – Life Shift (Aleta St. James) comforted me with a myriad of confirmations and affirmations.  Let me add here that reading my book, Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits added clarity and emphasis to my life change too.

Almost simultaneously, I began to practice deeper meditation using two CDs. First, Meditation: Your First Steps (Barbara Faison) and In the Garden with Mimi (Lee Williams) and began to ease my troubled, toxic  mind.

I had to detox and so should you.
Pause and check your emotional level and reactions in life. There is never anything to be ashamed of as you submit to this process and find real healing inner peace.

Recommended Reading

Throughout the year I will post books for recommended reading as a new information feature of Anita Answers.                     My recommendations for January are:

Love and Power in a World Without Limits Terry Cole Whittaker

A Course in Weight Loss Marianne Williamson

The Magic of Believing – Claude M. Bristol

The Prosperity Bible – complilation  (Napoleon Hill, Benjamin Franklin, Florence Scovel Shnin, Wallace Wattles, et al)

As A Man Thinketh James Allen

Embracing Fear – Thom Rutledge

I have read all of these books and can make a qualified recommendation. Enjoy learning!

Please feel free to share your reading list – I will post your suggestions too.

12 Days of Joy

Let there be joy on earth and let it begin with me. Joy is an ever present emotion even though most adults have learned, all too well, to control, negate, or pace their joy so that it emerges a little peek at a time. Dr. T. Byram Karasu, in his book The Art of Serenity: The Path to a Joyful Life in the Best and Worst of Times, says that “in your quest for joyful serenity, there is no  single spot where you can start. Where you are right now is the best place to begin.”

JOY Day 1 – Be in-joy. Tap into your inner joy. Radiate happiness. Be you!  Accent your many positive traits and feel good about it. Smile and spread your inner joy. Soar in your soul.  Find peace and practice gratitude this day.  Make it a new earth by being a new, joyful you.  BOOK: A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s PurposeEckhart Tolle

JOY Day 2 – Create something.  Shake it up a bit.  Decide to change an old pattern, even one that is working for you. Learn a new dance, listen to alternative music, cook or eat a dish using different spices, paint, knit, crochet. Stretch yourself, be creative.  You will love the discovery of something new. BOOK: The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron

JOY Day 3 – Write worthy words. Sit down and compose; write something. Poetry, song, short-story, prose, debate, article – these are all ways to express yourself in words.  You may even discover that this writing exercise stimulates untapped joy. Write  your words with style, they are automatically worthy.    BOOK:  The Elements of Style – William Strunk and E. B. White

JOY Day 4 – Live Love. Joy is love and you are joy so live love. It is easy to live love, just remember who you are and the what experiences that run counter to feelings of joy will transmute into opportunities of design.   BOOK: The Spontaneous Fulfillment of DesireDeepak Chopra

JOY Day 5 – Exercise. Exercise releases endorphins, the joy juice of physical exertion.  Yoga, tai chi, walking, dance, jogging, pumping iron, zumba, capoeira. Get up and move!  BOOK: A Morning Cup of Strengthening – Beth Pierpoint

JOY Day 6 – Eat for Health. Consider portion size and the health value of what you consume. A lethargic body does not awaken joy, make your body the  throne of the inner temple. Eat slowly,  heighten the sense of each healthy enjoyable delectable bite. Eat well, savor the joy.  BOOK: A Course in Weight Loss Marianne Williamson

JOY Day 7 – Make Memories. Create a scrapbook, start a new tradition, organize your photos in an album – make new memories. Memories are your personal record of joy. Start today, make lasting memories. Share them for a memory made will never fade. BOOK: The Book of Myself: A Do-It-Yourself  Autobiography in 201 Questions – Carl Marshall and David Marshall

Joy Day 8 – Give Generously. Make some joy by giving. Time, money, kindness, service, empathy, listening. Let others experience your joyous generosity by the acts of caring that you do. Give until you feel great, then internalize the joy of giving. BOOK: The Generosity Factor Ken Blanchard and S. Truett Cathy

Joy Day 9 – Simply Simplify. Make it easy to feel joy. Simple acts of kindness, cleanliness, simplicity give rest to the mind and soul.  Make it sweet and simple-live joy simply as you are.  BOOK: Life is Too Short to Wear Tight Shoes – Barbara Faison

Joy Day 10 – Anchor Ancestory. Find you and those who compose you. Look up your ancestors, you will find joy in learning about your history. Record your history, make an oral record of your past.When you know your ancestors-history you can tell a new story about your being. BOOK: The Official Guide to Ancestry.com – Matthew Rayback and George C. Morton or http://www.storycorps.org

Joy Day 11 – Laugh out Loud. Joy breeds happiness. Find humor, look for the funny and celebrate those moments that make you laugh. Lighten up, loosen your tie, take off the tightness in your life. Laugh, be joyous. BOOK: Finding the Funny – Al Wiseman

Joy Day 12 – Spread Joy. Brighten the corner where you are. Where these is pain, spread hope. Where there is despair, give hope. Where there is conflict, be an instrument of peace. Give your joy away multiple times each and every day and watch the return dividends fill your bank of inner joy. BOOK: The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More FunGretchen Rubin

Be in JOY!

Whether you decide to take each JOY day sequentially or make each JOY day a month long project, you have active steps and reading material to make JOY happen in your life.

I wish you JOY!