O The Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss, 1990
GO-GIVER, Bob Burg and John David Mann, 2007
52 Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem and Confidence, C. E. Rollins, 1992
Maximum Achievement, Brian Tracy, 1993
More Money Than God, Steven Z. Leder, 2003
O The Places You’ll Go, Dr. Seuss, 1990
GO-GIVER, Bob Burg and John David Mann, 2007
52 Ways to Build Your Self-Esteem and Confidence, C. E. Rollins, 1992
Maximum Achievement, Brian Tracy, 1993
More Money Than God, Steven Z. Leder, 2003
You have reached a pinpoint moment in your life by already completing Emotional Exercises 1, 2, and 3. Really, I mean really, really feel good about doing the exercises. Taking effective action and piercing your layers of socialization and emotional makeup is life altering. But, we are not done yet, Emotional Exercise 4 is here.
But, before I begin the instructions for it, please sit in a quiet place with your feet on the floor and just smile. Smile deeply and feel the resonance of inner happiness and joy that knows you have begun to re-frame your emotions into a sacred personal picture/vision of who you are that is intimate with accurate and acute, deep feelings about what you passionately desire that is bordered with vivid coloration of WHY you deserve to have it all and more. Smile from your eyes, smile from your heart and smile from your soul inside. Priceless
How refreshing. Smiling releases healing endorphins which ready you for Emotional Exercise 4. Here are your instructions:
For example: my WHY is to feel and be healthy at a weight that supports longevity and my ONE value is self-respect. Therein, my goal statement is to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day and reach a pumping heart rate so that I will lose weight and reach a weight goal of 165 pounds which will strengthen my self-respect and heighten my peace of accomplishment.
Notice the words in my stated goal. You see action (exercise), you see a definite schedule (30 minutes a day), you see intensity (heart pumping heart rate), you see my end point (165 pounds) and you see how much I value self-respect and why (strengthen and heighten accomplishment). This goal is clear and strong in that I acknowledge that I already have high self-respect and peace within myself around this specific goal. Also, note that this is one goal – my value changes with each of my other goals. For instance, loving and being loved is the prime value in my relationship goal. This makes sense; each goal should carry a value specific to it.
→To complete Emotional Exercise 4 – write your value and goal statement that incorporates your WHY and ONE value that is definite, clear, meshes feelings with intent, and has an end point. That is what a goal is – it is a written statement and mental picture that is full of emotion that states what you want to achieve that is definite and has a point of closure. Match it! Line up these two things – what you value with your why – as a deliberate, absolute statement of intention that invests your deepest emotions and states a end point.
When all of this is synchronized and in harmony with your inner belief, you will see your choices and outlook radically change. A study of achievers prove that this formula — a true match of WHY and VALUE with a ending time frame — is what sets them apart from those who talk and are guided by fear.
Hint, you can probably guess what Emotional Exercise 5 might be. If not, and even if you can guess what it is, this closing exercise will seal your success, solidify your choices, and solve your recidivism. Gaming is over, only goals are ahead.
For now, go back to your quiet place after you have finished writing your statement and SMILE! Get to your happy spot because you are designing YOUR happiest life which constantly exercises and educates what is best for you.
You are loved!
In celebration of my Mom’s eightieth birthday, I have a joke for you:
An elderly woman was beaming as she walked around the mall. Someone stopped and asked her what is the secret to her happiness. She told her, today is my birthday and my children gave me a SUV – sunflower seeds, unlimited talk card and vitamins. They know me well; i love seeds, talking and staying healthy.
Claim you SUV and live out loud!
Happy funny, Friday.
You Didn’t Say That-no you didn’t!
We are bombarded with a minimum of 70,000 thoughts day and night. New science suggests that the number of thoughts that we process through our mind now reaches over a million given the frenetic, over stimulated environment we now live in. And, researchers add that almost 70% of those 1.2 million thoughts are negative. It causes one to wonder why there is so much stress, anger, and worry in the world.
Negative thoughts are learned. They come from previous messages that we have internalized, as early as childhood, which we have personalized and adopted as truth. Nothing could be further from the truth.
You are not those negative messages.
You were created with an inner happiness thermometer that should be blasting with joy, tranquility, understanding, love and compassion. Happiness is natural to our being.
Thoughts become things, varied behaviorist, including those featured in The Secret: The Movie, validate this point. When your life expressions are sourced from inner happiness you rise to your innate nobility and you walk and talk with an irresistible confidence that magnetizes and magnifies what you want and who you are. You begin to discover a vast unlimited power within yourself that frees you from fear and outer manipulation.
This is exactly why I opened my book, Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits, with a chapter that teaches you how to release your fear. Fears become obstacles, fear destroys inner happiness. In the book you learn how to change 101 obstacles into opportunities- true opportunities for living well and happy.
You tap into your inner happiness with a powerful self belief that you are happy and deserve to be happy. Then we become beacons, we experience abundance and experience exhilarating tranquility.
Inner happiness already exists within all of us, no exception. But because of our programming, it is clouded or covered over with mundane distractions and distortions. You are whole and happy NOW!
Negative chatter is known to contribute to suicide, depression, obesity, bulimia, anorexia, fear, doubt, cancer, high blood pressure, autoimmune disease, stroke, heart attacks, infertility, impotence, loneliness, bullying, criticism, anger and a host of other physical, social and mental ills that stem from that 70% negative dialogue that goes on in our heads. Think about how we are bombarded and over stimulated day and night with images that do not feed our happiness. Yet, we thirst for release.
There is a reason why the new television show Secret Millionaire is a blockbuster hit. In fact the last show with millionaire Jerry Farber closes with this remark from him “if you want inner happiness do something for somebody else.” We all want to feel good even if it is vicariously.
In fact studies have shown that our mood is elevated just by the act of watching someone else do an act of kindness. Remember thoughts become things and the thing that we all want is happiness. It is just that basic.
Let us suppose our life is a tree. The laws of nature prove that if we water the tree with nourishment it will grow green and produce fruit. The same is true with our inner dialogue. If we water our minds with nourishing, positive inner happiness messages our tree will bear sweet, succulent fruit otherwise we will cultivate bitter, sour fruit and eventually our tree will become diseased and die. One happy inner thought bears more fruit and life energy than ten sour thoughts.
Consciously change. Wipe your inner slate clean—like a tabla rosa. Let me start by giving everyone this exercise:
For the next 21 days, the amount of time for your brain to create new pathways and habits, I want you to repeat to yourself ONLY positive words. Stand in front of a mirror with your hand over your heart and repeat something like this: In my world nothing ever goes wrong, or I am me and I love me and my world, or I am a happy and joyful being and then touch your head. Repeat these mantras declarations often every day for 21 days with a gorgeous smile and I guarantee you will feel a transformation and shift to a restful pace of inner happiness. Repetition and emotion are the most powerful way to change mind responses.
Next, I want you to pay attention to the mental pollution that goes on in your mind and then diffuse the negativity by following these ABCD steps:.
Ask yourself – is this true? One of the best ways to recognize these automatic negative feelings is to be still, meditate, pause and slow down and listen to the sickening inner dialogue. Then, question the validity of the thought and immediately take the second step which is to brand a new belief.
Brand into your mind that you are wonderful, exciting, lovable, valuable. Go back to your 21 day exercise if you need too and use those positive words to create your inner happiness.
Combat and challenge negative self-talk. That’s what I had to do. Call it out, fight for your inner happiness. Say out loud, You DIDN’T say that, get an attitude about it, be emphatic- your happiness depends on it.
DO your bucket list now. By this I mean that inner happiness requires that you start doing the fun and exciting things that you enjoy now rather than wait until you can wear purple – build inner happiness in the present without doubt or fear.
Remember thoughts become things and the thing that you deserve is happiness. This is your birthright – nobility and happiness.
For a while I did not recognize that I was in a transition/clearing out phase. All I knew was that I felt unsettled and angry. Neither of these character traits belong to me so I began to explore the root of my dis-ease and found that I was toxic.
In spite of being careful about those whom I associated with, being a loving-giving person and having a quality family history, I discovered recessive toxicity.
The detox steps that I took included:
1.Isoloation. I had to isolate myself for cleansing and rejuvenation. The toxin parasites I had collected leeched not only my mind processing but also negatively impacted my energy level and health. Uncharacteristically, I have had four respiratory attacks in less than three months – something is definitely off here. My remedy is to undergo a cleansings where I only ate organic fruits and vegetables and drank plenty of water to flush my system of parasitic toxins.
2. Meter. I began to pay attention and meter test my energy around my associates. Yes, even though all of them were unaware that they were being tested so that I could determine those who sizzled my toxic meter, I began to easily recognize persons, areas, and activities that elevated my toxic seeking sense. Those who pulsed my meter as toxic, I asked the universe to gently remove them away from my space.
The temptation I fought, ironically, was to want to take them back in spite of my truthful knowing doing so was not healthy. What I had to learn is that toxins contribute to chaos and thrives on the continuance thereof. Dr. Claude Bristol asserts that toxins interfere with your subconscious power and robs you of the ability to function with higher reasoning.
3. Meditation. I began to read more and meditate with higher intensity. Obviously I needed to connect with internal spiritual answers which I could collect from my subconscious source. Meditation, prayers and reading higher source material began to add refreshing energy into my absorbent mind.
I had to go higher and dig deeper and trust my subconscious promptings. Two books helped me to soar – Love and Power in A Limitless Word (Terry Cole Whitaker) slapped me in the face with the truth about myself and started me to heal. I slung that book away from me so many times that if it had been Humpty Dumpty, as reflected in my shattered self, I would have never re-gained equilibrium and complete fusion. The second book – Life Shift (Aleta St. James) comforted me with a myriad of confirmations and affirmations. Let me add here that reading my book, Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits added clarity and emphasis to my life change too.
Almost simultaneously, I began to practice deeper meditation using two CDs. First, Meditation: Your First Steps (Barbara Faison) and In the Garden with Mimi (Lee Williams) and began to ease my troubled, toxic mind.
I had to detox and so should you.
Pause and check your emotional level and reactions in life. There is never anything to be ashamed of as you submit to this process and find real healing inner peace.
Throughout the year I will post books for recommended reading as a new information feature of Anita Answers. My recommendations for January are:
A Course in Weight Loss – Marianne Williamson
The Magic of Believing – Claude M. Bristol
Embracing Fear – Thom Rutledge
I have read all of these books and can make a qualified recommendation. Enjoy learning!
Please feel free to share your reading list – I will post your suggestions too.
Let there be joy on earth and let it begin with me. Joy is an ever present emotion even though most adults have learned, all too well, to control, negate, or pace their joy so that it emerges a little peek at a time. Dr. T. Byram Karasu, in his book The Art of Serenity: The Path to a Joyful Life in the Best and Worst of Times, says that “in your quest for joyful serenity, there is no single spot where you can start. Where you are right now is the best place to begin.”
JOY Day 1 – Be in-joy. Tap into your inner joy. Radiate happiness. Be you! Accent your many positive traits and feel good about it. Smile and spread your inner joy. Soar in your soul. Find peace and practice gratitude this day. Make it a new earth by being a new, joyful you. BOOK: A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose – Eckhart Tolle
JOY Day 2 – Create something. Shake it up a bit. Decide to change an old pattern, even one that is working for you. Learn a new dance, listen to alternative music, cook or eat a dish using different spices, paint, knit, crochet. Stretch yourself, be creative. You will love the discovery of something new. BOOK: The Artist’s Way – Julia Cameron
JOY Day 3 – Write worthy words. Sit down and compose; write something. Poetry, song, short-story, prose, debate, article – these are all ways to express yourself in words. You may even discover that this writing exercise stimulates untapped joy. Write your words with style, they are automatically worthy. BOOK: The Elements of Style – William Strunk and E. B. White
JOY Day 4 – Live Love. Joy is love and you are joy so live love. It is easy to live love, just remember who you are and the what experiences that run counter to feelings of joy will transmute into opportunities of design. BOOK: The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire – Deepak Chopra
JOY Day 5 – Exercise. Exercise releases endorphins, the joy juice of physical exertion. Yoga, tai chi, walking, dance, jogging, pumping iron, zumba, capoeira. Get up and move! BOOK: A Morning Cup of Strengthening – Beth Pierpoint
JOY Day 6 – Eat for Health. Consider portion size and the health value of what you consume. A lethargic body does not awaken joy, make your body the throne of the inner temple. Eat slowly, heighten the sense of each healthy enjoyable delectable bite. Eat well, savor the joy. BOOK: A Course in Weight Loss – Marianne Williamson
JOY Day 7 – Make Memories. Create a scrapbook, start a new tradition, organize your photos in an album – make new memories. Memories are your personal record of joy. Start today, make lasting memories. Share them for a memory made will never fade. BOOK: The Book of Myself: A Do-It-Yourself Autobiography in 201 Questions – Carl Marshall and David Marshall
Joy Day 8 – Give Generously. Make some joy by giving. Time, money, kindness, service, empathy, listening. Let others experience your joyous generosity by the acts of caring that you do. Give until you feel great, then internalize the joy of giving. BOOK: The Generosity Factor – Ken Blanchard and S. Truett Cathy
Joy Day 9 – Simply Simplify. Make it easy to feel joy. Simple acts of kindness, cleanliness, simplicity give rest to the mind and soul. Make it sweet and simple-live joy simply as you are. BOOK: Life is Too Short to Wear Tight Shoes – Barbara Faison
Joy Day 10 – Anchor Ancestory. Find you and those who compose you. Look up your ancestors, you will find joy in learning about your history. Record your history, make an oral record of your past.When you know your ancestors-history you can tell a new story about your being. BOOK: The Official Guide to Ancestry.com – Matthew Rayback and George C. Morton or http://www.storycorps.org
Joy Day 11 – Laugh out Loud. Joy breeds happiness. Find humor, look for the funny and celebrate those moments that make you laugh. Lighten up, loosen your tie, take off the tightness in your life. Laugh, be joyous. BOOK: Finding the Funny – Al Wiseman
Joy Day 12 – Spread Joy. Brighten the corner where you are. Where these is pain, spread hope. Where there is despair, give hope. Where there is conflict, be an instrument of peace. Give your joy away multiple times each and every day and watch the return dividends fill your bank of inner joy. BOOK: The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun – Gretchen Rubin
Be in JOY!
Whether you decide to take each JOY day sequentially or make each JOY day a month long project, you have active steps and reading material to make JOY happen in your life.
I wish you JOY!
How do you end a calendar marker such as 31 December and ready for the New Year? There are as many traditions, resolutions, or starts as there are people who pledge to makes changes in their lives starting when…you know the famous last word “tomorrow.”
Whatever you decide to change in the New Year, make your achievement intention realistic. Once you have decided what change(s) you intend to achieve, firm up your resolve. Claude Bristol in The Magic of Believing this point of view “You are the product of your own thought. What you believe yourself to be, you are.” Make your resolve believable then it is achievable.
One such timeless resolution, which I have stated and carried with me for the past four years, is to lose weight. Even though I did achieve most of the other resolution plans I had made in the past four years, weight loss has eluded me. I have written the books, earned more money, shed weighty relationships, and completed the Peachtree Road Race for seven years straight. That’s great, but weight loss is tougher for me because in my mind i still carry the “weight” of past misery and poor self image. The purpose for losing weight is not as primary as completing the Peachtree Road Race which I do in memory of my deceased brother who ran the Race for sixteen years. Weight loss obviously is not a powerful as writing books for I have published six books now, including Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits!
Still my weight gain over the years proved to be a regression. So, this year instead of making weight my resolution issue, I have decided to attract support in this area by applying to be a candidate on the television show What Not to Wear which will canonize a more palatable real need and that is to feel good about myself. The weight is a symptom of a combination of issues that I first needed to acknowledge and now resolve using a positive, embracing plan. I have also enlisted a paid support partner to hold me accountable and I have devoured The South Beach Diet and Geneen Roth’s book, Women, Food and God plus I have just received from Amazon a copy of A Course in Weight Loss by my favorite author, Marianne Williamson.
In addition to my reading stockpile on weight loss and self belief, I have purchased an annual gym membership at Bally Fitness. It appears that it will take this much effort on my part to inculcate new beliefs and new resolve for the New Year.
The other intention that I have for this year is to continue my Law of Attraction MeetUp group. This is an ancillary support session that augments this overall express of feeling good to manifest exactly what I want.
You too can manifest/achieve ANYTHING you want to do with a clear focus, laser intention, and positive affirmations of the change(s) that benefit you and ultimately humanity. One tip is to: create a vision board, take a snapshot of it and use it as your screen saver or create an online vision board at Oprah.com.
A healed and healthy you changes the universe.
We are more than a universe of one. Others, like me, need you to show up and achieve your BEST life now!
Tell me what your achievement resolutions are?
Send me a note by January 4th and I will send you a gift.
Happy New Year. My motto: I am noble healthy and fit woman.
Who are you?
Have you ever made a mistake? Do you regret some mistakes? Of course, if you are breathing that is, you have made mistakes and assuredly you have regrets about some of them.
Mistakes happen! That’s right, mistakes are a human calamity that come with the ability to make choices. Sometimes the choices you and I make are on point and other times our choices lead to mistakes.
What can you do about it?
First off, remind yourself that mistakes happen to all of us, so don’t beat yourself up and create negative energy around a happenstance mistake so long as it is not a sabotage.
If you are making mistakes that threaten your focus, skew your self worth, damage another person, or create chaos – then what you are doing is probably not a mistake, but a deeper causative response to a sense of senseless unworthiness. Work that ego-centered pain out right away and do not allow the inner voice of past pain ruin your presence of goodness and goodwill.
Second, have you considered the mistake to be a right mistake? It could be a blessing in disguise that you made that particular mistake which could actually guide you to alternate choices and open-eyed new views or information that could benefit you and alter conditions.
Right mistakes usually produce good results. Truly, right mistakes that are often judged awful at the time could blend into a higher shift in reality. I know two people who made simple mistakes in their job responsibility that set into motion a termination. Although devastated at first about the injustice of the firings, they have both created new livelihoods which they both love.
I recently heard a author tell her story about being downsized and subsequently not being able to find a new position turn to writing her book which had been simmering in her mind for more than 15 years. The right mistake here is that she previously ignored her promptings to showcase her talent. The good news is that in 2010 Patricia published, The Art of Standing Still. Patricia Walden used her situation of being downsized to the advantage of writing a powerful testimony about standing still when still does not mean stuck.
Third, a right mistake causes introspection. As I have written in Climb Every Obstacle: Eliminate Your Limits!, mistakes magnify learning. If you take the time to graciously learn from your mistake, rather than ignoring the lesson embedded within, you will begin to see truth contained within for your review.
Mistakes are a part of success; they improve your problem-solving skills. Those who avoid mistakes, avoid success. Elbert Hubbard says, “The greatest mistake you can make is to be continuously fearing that you will make one.”
Every right mistake has a solution.
I was talking to a dear friend last night and during our conversation we shifted to saying thank you to each other. She remarked that someone she knew said of her that she cherishes their friendship because she always said a sincere “thank you” to others for what they had done for her or given her.
This caused me to pause and ask myself if I am that thoughtful?
The answer is yes. I make it a priority to thank my friends and family for their kindness. Without fail I express my thanks in a multitude of ways. It is important to me to say thank you and I always do.
Thank you is important for two reasons: 1) It displays a graciousness and consciousness of a kind act from someone else. It reminds you to be grateful – in all ways always and 2) It allows you to acknowledge and accept kind gestures from others.
Both reasons – being grateful and acceptance – form character and character forms the person. It is praiseworthy and important to be known for having the being of a good character.
“Good character is more to be praised than outstanding talent. Most talents are to some extent a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not given to us. We have to build it piece by piece by thought, choice, courage and determination.” ~John Luther
Let me share a few ways to say “thank you:”
1. Say it immediately after a compliment. Acknowledge the words with gracious gratitude. Your response may be just a simple thank you with a smile or you may bridge onto that compliment by saying something sincere and true about the other person.
2. The Post Foundation recommends writing a handwritten thank you note promptly after an interview, getting a gift, or after receiving an award. Handwritten notes are far more powerful than e-mail or text messages – it says that you took a little more time to write the note and that leaves an indelible impression.
3. Make a phone call. Call the person and talk about the gift, award, or kind gesture. Be sure to sit down and have a conversation rather than rush through the acknowledgment.
4. Send flowers or a small gift. Yes, it is appropriate to send flowers or a small, well chosen gift when you have gotten something that is important to you. Two years ago I needed an endorsement for my new book and I was given that endorsement without a fee attached from a powerful figure in my target field. Not only did I send an elaborate thank you note, I sent flowers to her office too. They were impressed so much that we still stay in touch. I have gained monetary and professional bonuses which exceeded the cost of the flowers from my kind act that extended beyond the usual to say thank you.
Thank you is important! You will get more back when you express your gratitude for the good will given to you by others.
Practice the habit of saying thank you. Be gracious, be sincere, be willing to open up and let others see your character.